Greg here...
It's 5:30 in the morning and Connor and Jessica are sound asleep. My eyes popped open somewhere around 4:00 and I tried to go back to sleep but it just wasn't happening so here I am, wide awake talking to you guys. I hope you don't mind.
The first time we visited Taiwan last year I figured jet lag would be no big deal... I've always been a person who could get by on just a few hours of sleep so I was confident that I could deal with it rather easily. Wrong. Jet lag is my daddy. I'm hopeful that it will be better this time but I guess the fact that I'm wide awake while everyone else sleeps isn't a good sign.
Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know when we hope to be home and also to let you know why we might not be on that flight. As of right now, we are scheduled to return to Knoxville at 10:45 AM on Sunday morning, February 14th. Unfortunately, one of our documents that we need to leave the country has not cleared the court system yet. We are praying hard that happens by no later than next Friday the 12th because if it does not come in, we will not be able to be home on the 14th as we originally had planned.
So you're probably thinking "okay, so if it doesn't come in on Friday the 12th, you can get it Monday the 15th and come home right after that." That's what we thought also but as luck would have it, the next week is Chinese New Year, the biggest holiday in Taiwan and the court systems are closed for a solid week. So, if our documents aren't in by the 12th, we would be here AT BEST for an additional 10 days and quite possibly another 14-17 days which would mean we would be in Taiwan for nearly a month.
We love it here in Taiwan, we really do. It is quite possibly my favorite place on earth other than Knoxville, Tennessee. Still, being here for a month is not something we really need to do right now. Connor needs to be in school, I have a job I need to get home to, and most importantly, I only brought 12 pairs of boxer briefs!
Of course there's a bright side... if we do end up having to stay we will get to enjoy the holiday season here in Taipei. I'm sure we will experience some amazing things, learn even more about this wonderful country, and having the extra time with Claire in her homeland would be special and something we would remember forever. Like I said before, we really do like it here and it will probably be a long time before we'll be able to come back. There would certainly be worse places to be stuck!
Unfortunately, an extra 2 weeks means an extra giant pile of cash we can't really afford. If we have to reschedule our flights there will be a $1000 fee and then on top of that we'll have another 2 weeks worth of hotel expenses. Taipei is a city the size of Chicago or New York and the hotels are more expensive than they are back home. Ten days we can afford... a month not so much. My wallet hurts just thinking about it!
So that's where we stand... a lot of uncertainty. If you're the praying type, please pray that our documents come in immediately. It could literally be anyday so why not today! Once that hurdle is cleared, we will most likely have smooth sailing and should be able to return home as scheduled on the 14th.
Whatever happens, we have a feeling of peace in our hearts knowing that the same God who knew Claire before she was born and then led our family on this amazing journey to find her also has a plan to bring us all back home together. In the grand scheme of things, if that is February 14th or 28th doesn't really matter all that much and we'll be alright either way. Still, pray for the 14th!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
DAY 1 - We are in Taiwan!
There's nothing much to report at this point other than that we are here in Taipei. We left Knoxville at 7:10 Wednesday morning and now 28 hours later, here we are. I'm not gonna lie... it's as long as it sounds!
The good news is that our trip was exactly what we had prayed for... uneventful. All of our flights were on time, our luggage arrived in one piece, and best of all our son Connor was WONDERFUL! He didn't say "Are we there yet" even one time! He slept a good bit of the way and the rest of the time he played his DS (thanks Nana and Grandaddy for the new games) and watched movies. Even on our longest flight (14 hours from Detroit to Tokyo) he was great. That was a major answered prayer!
Connor made a friend at the Tokyo airport while we were waiting to board our flight. Connor was just chatting away with a little Taiwanese boy and we just assumed that the boy didn't speak English but it turned out he did. He and his mom were from Ohio coming home to visit family. I'm not sure what they were talking about but as we left Connor said to him "What are you talking about man, you can't be allergic to movies!" I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation!
We're off to bed... it's almost midnight right now and we are getting up bright and early to visit the Harmony Home orphanage where Claire lived for the first 18 months of her life. We're very excited to get the chance to see this place and to meet her caretakers there. We have exchanged several emails with Claire's primary caregiver while she was at the orphanage and it is obvious that she loves Claire very much. She has been incredibly helpful sharing details about Claire's story up until now. We're thrilled to have the chance to meet her.
We haven't even taken our cameras out of the case at this point but starting tomorrow, we'll hope to have pictures and video fairly regularly for you all to enjoy.
Goodnight from Taiwan!
The good news is that our trip was exactly what we had prayed for... uneventful. All of our flights were on time, our luggage arrived in one piece, and best of all our son Connor was WONDERFUL! He didn't say "Are we there yet" even one time! He slept a good bit of the way and the rest of the time he played his DS (thanks Nana and Grandaddy for the new games) and watched movies. Even on our longest flight (14 hours from Detroit to Tokyo) he was great. That was a major answered prayer!
Connor made a friend at the Tokyo airport while we were waiting to board our flight. Connor was just chatting away with a little Taiwanese boy and we just assumed that the boy didn't speak English but it turned out he did. He and his mom were from Ohio coming home to visit family. I'm not sure what they were talking about but as we left Connor said to him "What are you talking about man, you can't be allergic to movies!" I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation!
We're off to bed... it's almost midnight right now and we are getting up bright and early to visit the Harmony Home orphanage where Claire lived for the first 18 months of her life. We're very excited to get the chance to see this place and to meet her caretakers there. We have exchanged several emails with Claire's primary caregiver while she was at the orphanage and it is obvious that she loves Claire very much. She has been incredibly helpful sharing details about Claire's story up until now. We're thrilled to have the chance to meet her.
We haven't even taken our cameras out of the case at this point but starting tomorrow, we'll hope to have pictures and video fairly regularly for you all to enjoy.
Goodnight from Taiwan!
Friday, January 15, 2010
What do I say?
We found out today that while we are in Taiwan we are going to meet Claire's maternal grandfather. Her birth mother does not wish to meet us and has had some fairly serious legal problems. In fact, as of right now the social workers do not even know where she is. I was very surprised in light of that to find out that the grandfather has requested to meet with us and that meeting will happen in our hotel on Saturday, February 6th.
Claire has two half sisters and this man has custody of one of them. We do not know if he will bring her with him to the meeting but we are hopeful.
I've been thinking today of what it is we should say to this man to set his mind at ease. I imagine he wants to meet us to have a chance to say goodbye to his grand-daughter who he will most likely never see again. What a moment that will be... I cannot imagine. I feel the need to have some idea of what I want to say to him before we meet... something that will put his mind at ease... something that will give him comfort that little Hsiang-Ting (Claire) is going to be alright in her new life. Something to let him know that we are kind and loving and that we are going to do everything in our power to give this little girl a wonderful life. I hope he will believe us and go away from our meeting with at least a little bit of peace.
We know next to nothing about this man. We know that Claire's birth mother asked him to take Claire and he told her he could not afford to take one more child. Putting Claire up for international adoption was his idea and Claire's birth mother agreed to it. We owe this man an incredible debt of gratitude. He probably does not speak English and even though I can say "Thank You" in Mandarin (thanks to Ni Hao Kai-Lan) somehow I know that won't even begin to be enough.
Even though I will probably be anxious about this meeting right up until the moment it happens, I am so grateful we are going to have this opportunity.
I think of Connor's early life... In my iPhoto library on my laptop I have over 3000 pictures from just his first 3 years alone. We have pictures of Connor with all of his family, including some who have since passed away. Every picture is a treasure. Those of you with children understand this. With Claire though, it's different. We have 20 pictures from a day in October when a social worker took her to a playground. We have about 10 pictures from a day in April where she played in a park for a little while. We have about 20 pictures taken at random times during her 2nd year of life while she was living in the orphanage... and that's it. No pictures of her birth mother, grandparents, siblings, or friends. Not one. This might be our only chance to have a picture of her with her birth family. What a treasure that will be for her someday.
Claire has two half sisters and this man has custody of one of them. We do not know if he will bring her with him to the meeting but we are hopeful.
I've been thinking today of what it is we should say to this man to set his mind at ease. I imagine he wants to meet us to have a chance to say goodbye to his grand-daughter who he will most likely never see again. What a moment that will be... I cannot imagine. I feel the need to have some idea of what I want to say to him before we meet... something that will put his mind at ease... something that will give him comfort that little Hsiang-Ting (Claire) is going to be alright in her new life. Something to let him know that we are kind and loving and that we are going to do everything in our power to give this little girl a wonderful life. I hope he will believe us and go away from our meeting with at least a little bit of peace.
We know next to nothing about this man. We know that Claire's birth mother asked him to take Claire and he told her he could not afford to take one more child. Putting Claire up for international adoption was his idea and Claire's birth mother agreed to it. We owe this man an incredible debt of gratitude. He probably does not speak English and even though I can say "Thank You" in Mandarin (thanks to Ni Hao Kai-Lan) somehow I know that won't even begin to be enough.
Even though I will probably be anxious about this meeting right up until the moment it happens, I am so grateful we are going to have this opportunity.
I think of Connor's early life... In my iPhoto library on my laptop I have over 3000 pictures from just his first 3 years alone. We have pictures of Connor with all of his family, including some who have since passed away. Every picture is a treasure. Those of you with children understand this. With Claire though, it's different. We have 20 pictures from a day in October when a social worker took her to a playground. We have about 10 pictures from a day in April where she played in a park for a little while. We have about 20 pictures taken at random times during her 2nd year of life while she was living in the orphanage... and that's it. No pictures of her birth mother, grandparents, siblings, or friends. Not one. This might be our only chance to have a picture of her with her birth family. What a treasure that will be for her someday.
Friday, January 1, 2010
We Got the Call!!!
After months of waiting we finally received the call that we've been waiting for this afternoon. We can travel to Taiwan and pick up our daughter the 2nd week of February! We will most likely leave from Knoxville on Wednesday, February 3rd and we will finally hold our daughter in our arms for the first time on Monday morning, February 8th. We're hoping to be home the following weekend... hopefully on Saturday morning.
We are absolutely overjoyed! It's been more than 2 years since we began this journey and now it's finally coming to an end. I'll be honest... I'm ready for this journey to be over so a new one can begin! The best is most certainly yet to come.
We'll have more updates later but for now we have a to-do list a mile long... so much to do before we leave! Plane tickets to buy, hotel rooms to book, a very pink room to put the finishing touches on, and a whole bunch of paperwork to get in order!
Thank you to everyone who has commented on this blog... all of the encouraging words have meant a lot to us. It's been really comforting to know that we haven't been waiting alone.
We are absolutely overjoyed! It's been more than 2 years since we began this journey and now it's finally coming to an end. I'll be honest... I'm ready for this journey to be over so a new one can begin! The best is most certainly yet to come.
We'll have more updates later but for now we have a to-do list a mile long... so much to do before we leave! Plane tickets to buy, hotel rooms to book, a very pink room to put the finishing touches on, and a whole bunch of paperwork to get in order!
Thank you to everyone who has commented on this blog... all of the encouraging words have meant a lot to us. It's been really comforting to know that we haven't been waiting alone.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
6 Months!
On Friday, we reached the 6 month point since referral. Still no news on travel. Still no news on what in the world is going on. We do know that as of a couple weeks ago, our first ruling hadn't even been issued and we had court back in October. We also know that two families who had court the same day as us are traveling to pick up their little ones at the end of this week, which every time I think about is like getting sucker punched right in the stomach. To say we're stressed, sad, and frustrated does not at all put into words what we are feeling. We had so hoped to have our little girl home by the end of the year when we got the referral. When we realized that wasn't going to happen, we just prayed that we would have news of when we could bring her home by the end of the year. Looks like that won't happen either. Christmas is our very favorite time of year, but this year we all feel a hole. We know that is because our family will not all be together this Christmas. It's even harder because this time last year we were getting ready to leave for Taiwan. It's just an overload of what we're missing. We could really use your prayers over the next few days!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
My Little Fred Astaire
Here is Connor dancing with his friend last night at the Kindergarten dance. He loves to dance, just like his momma! Maybe we should get these two on "So You Think You Can Dance."
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thankful
As far as we know, Claire's first court date went okay. We haven't heard anything back, and we've been holding our breath praying they don't request any additional paperwork. It's still looking like February or March until we travel. I have to admit that the past five months have been about a million times harder than the past two years. Over the course of the process, I have always justified the delay in completing our family by saying God was just waiting for the perfect little girl to come along. Well, now we have been matched, we know who she is, and I just don't understand why it's taking so long to get her home. It's so beyond my control, but I'm not taking it well at all. It's been really hard on me for the past few months managing a stressful job, a son in school, keeping up with my house, going back for my Ed.S, and going through the emotions of trying to complete Claire's adoption. I cry all the time when I'm alone because I miss her so much even though I've never met her. I feel so incomplete.
Despite all of the hardships lately, I am so completely thankful for my sweet and beautiful son who brings a smile to my face every day! Yesterday we were on the way back home back from the grocery store and we were talking about syllables in words. We were naming Thanksgiving words, and he would clap out the syllables. We were having a fun little drive (yes, this is fun to us...yes, I am in education...can you tell?) and I said the word "thankful." After telling me there were two syllables, he named everything he was thankful for.
Here is Connor's list almost word for word as best as I can remember it. I wrote it down as soon as I got home:
I'm Thankful For....
1. Mommy and Daddy. They love me.
2. My family. I love them so much.
3. Toys! They're fun!
4. My friends who play with me.
5. Food. I'm never hungry....well sometimes I get hungry, but I just get food.
6. The nice people I meet. I like when people smile at me.
7. I'm glad we can be free. People in other countries can't be their own boss.
8. The beautiful world where I can run and play, be a super hero, climb in my tree and sit there, and just look around.
He's five and he blows me away! I have no idea what if anything we've done to raise a son with such an incredible heart, but he definitely has one sweet little soul! I love him so much and I am so thankful for my sweet, sweet boy!
Friday, October 9, 2009
First Court Date Scheduled
We received word today that our first court date is scheduled for October 26th. This was bittersweet news as we were told we would not know where we were in the court process, and by our timeline we assumed we had already had at least our first hearing. We were crushed because it has been our prayer to have her home before the end of the year, and now that will not happen. We most likely will wait another 3 months to travel, possibly more. However, we felt blessed to finally receive some news! Please, please pray for us on October 26th. Pray that the courts do not request any additional paperwork, which would delay us even more!
The past four months have been grueling. I look at my daughter's face every day, many times a day. I know who she is. I know where she is. They won't let me get to her. It's completely out of my hands. I cannot even begin to describe to you how hard this process has been. This has been the longest and most challenging journey of our lives. I know it will all be worth it, and some day we'll finally gain hindsight, but today in the midst of it all, we are feeling sad and helpless. Please say a prayer for us and most of all Claire. Pray for a miracle!!!
The past four months have been grueling. I look at my daughter's face every day, many times a day. I know who she is. I know where she is. They won't let me get to her. It's completely out of my hands. I cannot even begin to describe to you how hard this process has been. This has been the longest and most challenging journey of our lives. I know it will all be worth it, and some day we'll finally gain hindsight, but today in the midst of it all, we are feeling sad and helpless. Please say a prayer for us and most of all Claire. Pray for a miracle!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Adoption Shirts!
Our best friends the Watsons are in the middle of their third adoption. They have two domestically adopted children, and are now in the process of adopting an infant boy from Ethiopia. They are selling adoption t-shirts to help them raise money to bring Silas home! Please check out their adoption blog AND the link to the site for their t-shirts. They are only $10 and super cute!
The Watson's Adoption Blog
Adoption Shirts
Another wonderful opportunity to support adoption!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Awesome Fundraiser!!!!
We had the conclusion of our biggest adoption fundraiser, "Bears for Claire" last night. It was completely overwhelming how many generous people were willing to help! I truly thought we would struggle to reach $1,000 in donations, but once again God was so good to us and we ended up raising a little over $3,000!!!! AMAZING!!! Thank you to everyone who donated your services or prizes and asked for nothing in return! Thank you so much!! If you know me well, you know guilt could be my middle name, and I was so sad last night that I couldn't give every single person that donated a prize of some kind. I wanted everyone to win! I kept telling Greg how nervous I was every time I drew a number for a prize. I truly am so thankful for everyone who helped us, and I pray that someday I have the opportunity to help you!!! Because so many gave so freely to us, we wanted to take part of our donations and give them to help another family adopting a little girl from Taiwan as well (They are naming her Claire too!! Good name!) So, please know, if you participated in any way in "Bears for Claire", you helped two families bring their Claire home! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Our First Update!
We received our first update on Claire today from Taiwan. We only received this one little tiny picture but it's so great to see something current. We wish we could know what she's thinking... our first thought was that she looks a little bit sad but maybe that's just how seeing pictures of her growing up makes us feel. Regardless, she's still a cutie and we still can't wait to bring our little girl home! It looks like any hopes we had of her coming home with long hair are out the window as it looks like they're keeping it cut really short. Taiwan in the summertime is very hot from what we hear so that makes sense.
Here are a few highlights from her update:
- She's working on potty training at home. That's a good thing!
- She's still taking 4 bottles a day. I think this is cultural... children there tend to stay on bottles and formula longer than children here.
- Her favorite solid foods are watermelon and papaya. Do they have papaya at Kroger?
- It says she is "outgoing and adorable" and she "makes funny face to make people laugh". Sounds like her brother!
- It sounds like her language development is coming along well. There is no mention of whether or not she is learning any English but we are not expecting her to have ever heard any English at all when we pick her up.
- Other than that, it sounds like she's a typical two year old for the most part... some minor behavior issues that sound just like things Connor did when he was 2. Nothing to worry too much about.
And that's about it. Everyone keeps asking if there's any news so this was exciting to get in the mail today. We're still waiting to find out how our court process is going so we can travel but we're just 2 months past referral. Typical time from referral to travel is 5-8 months. At the absolute earliest we would travel late October / early November but it is MUCH more likely that we would travel in late December or January and quite possibly as late as February / March. That seems like an eternity right now.... these past two months have just crept by.
We're supposed to get an update about every month so hopefully sometime around late September we'll get another update.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Bears for Claire
Jessica and I are going to be having two adoption fund-raisers this fall to help us cover the costs of our travel to Taiwan to bring Claire home. Airfare could be as high as $10,000 due to the fact that we'll only have 7-14 days notice before we have to travel. We've been able to cover our expenses up until now but that daunting total has left us needing to get creative and so, we are excited to present... Bears for Claire
Here's how it works: Make a donation to our adoption fund and you will receive a "Bear for Claire". For $5.00 you get one bear, for $10.00 you get three bears, and for $25.00 you get eight bears! Each bear enters you to win one of over 20 prizes. We have had some AWESOME prizes donated including:
* A BRAND NEW NINTENDO WII!
* Free Chick Fil-A for a Year!
* Tennessee Football Tickets (box seats)
* A prize package from the Food Network and HGTV
* A prize package from Love 89.1 Radio
* Regal Cinemas Movie Tickets
* Many more! Over 20 prizes!
The drawing will be held on Sunday, August 30th at 7:00 PM. We'll actually be webcasting the drawing so people can watch live.
For all the information you need to participate in our fundraiser, and to purchase you chances to win the Wii and other prizes, please visit:
Friday, July 17, 2009
July 18th, 2009.
(From Greg)
As I write this here in East Tennessee at 11:00 in the morning, on the other side of the world the clock has rolled over and a new day has begun in Taiwan. It is July the 18th and at some point today my daughter Claire will turn two years old.
I was born on October 30th, 1974 a little after 7:00 in the morning. I know this because for years my mom would call me early in the morning on my birthday every year and give me the old "do you know what I was doing at this time 27 years ago???" line. I never knew what to say... "Um... I give up. Were you screaming and cussing out dad?"
Smart alec answers aside, I always appreciated my mom's early morning calls on my birthday... it told me how much she loved me and that not only was the day of my birth worth celebrating but even the moment of my birth was worth remembering. Sure, it's a small thing but a large collection of small things is how a person comes to know that they are loved.
I will probably never know the exact moment of Claire's birth. I'll never know if it was morning, afternoon, or evening... if the sky was sunny or clouded... who witnessed her emergence into this world... what her first moments with her birth mother were like... these things will remain a mystery to me. Adoption is a wonderful thing with a lot to celebrate but there is plenty to mourn as well. When our daughter comes home it will be easy to focus on all that we have gained... but let us not forget all we have lost.
Claire has now lived two years of her life being bounced around between orphanages and a foster home. As far as she can tell, she has no mother and no father... just caregivers who randomly seem to come and go. Hopefully they are kind to her. I wonder if she loves them... I wonder if they love her. I wonder when she spoke her first word and what it was. Did anyone even hear? Did anyone care? When she took her first steps, did anyone even notice?
I'm thinking of all of the treasured moments of Connor's first two years of life... first words, first laughs, learning to crawl and then walk, his first time going down a slide, and his first time dipping his toes in the ocean. I cherish every one of those memories. I know that a lifetime of memories with Claire are ahead of us as well and I know that there is so much joy to come but that future joy for now is tinged with the sadness of all that we have lost.
Even as I sit here now and think about these things, I have to remember that for as much as I have lost, Claire will have lost even more. As our plane lifts off from Taiwan to journey over the ocean and back home to Tennessee, our little girl will be saying goodbye to every single thing she has ever known. Her friends... her caregivers... her bed... her favorite foods... her language... her homeland... gone.
I don't know what our first days with our new daughter will be like but I do know that she is going to be grieving all that she has lost. I don't know how she is going to do this... some adopted children rage and lash out while others simply withdraw and go quiet. Who could blame them? I am praying even now that we will be equipped to comfort her... to help her through the transition into her new life. How will we do this.... the words of comfort she would understand can only be spoken in a language we do not know. God grant us patience, peace, and wisdom.
So, today my daughter turns two. I have no idea what this day will hold for her... I like to imagine that her foster family in Taiwan will have a celebration. Maybe some of her friends from pre-school will come over and there will be cake and ice cream... perhaps they will sing a song to her and she will end up with icing all over her face. Maybe she will celebrate... or maybe it will be just another day. Like so many other things, I will probably never know.
Here in Tennessee, we celebrated Claire's birthday by having a garage sale. We've spent the last week emptying closets and drawers... shelves and storage tubs. I've never seen so much stuff in our garage and hopefully all of it will be sold. All of the money we make today is going towards buying Claire's bedroom furniture. Connor is sitting at a table selling brownies and drinks with a sign that says "Snacks for my Sissy". Claire is heavy on all of our minds today but we're keeping busy... moving forward... wading our way through this wait the only way we know how. We're a little sad but also incredibly hopeful and excited. We know that next year we will celebrate this day very differently. It's going to be an incredible party... we'll have a lot of lost time to make up for. I can't wait.
As I write this here in East Tennessee at 11:00 in the morning, on the other side of the world the clock has rolled over and a new day has begun in Taiwan. It is July the 18th and at some point today my daughter Claire will turn two years old.
I was born on October 30th, 1974 a little after 7:00 in the morning. I know this because for years my mom would call me early in the morning on my birthday every year and give me the old "do you know what I was doing at this time 27 years ago???" line. I never knew what to say... "Um... I give up. Were you screaming and cussing out dad?"
Smart alec answers aside, I always appreciated my mom's early morning calls on my birthday... it told me how much she loved me and that not only was the day of my birth worth celebrating but even the moment of my birth was worth remembering. Sure, it's a small thing but a large collection of small things is how a person comes to know that they are loved.
I will probably never know the exact moment of Claire's birth. I'll never know if it was morning, afternoon, or evening... if the sky was sunny or clouded... who witnessed her emergence into this world... what her first moments with her birth mother were like... these things will remain a mystery to me. Adoption is a wonderful thing with a lot to celebrate but there is plenty to mourn as well. When our daughter comes home it will be easy to focus on all that we have gained... but let us not forget all we have lost.
Claire has now lived two years of her life being bounced around between orphanages and a foster home. As far as she can tell, she has no mother and no father... just caregivers who randomly seem to come and go. Hopefully they are kind to her. I wonder if she loves them... I wonder if they love her. I wonder when she spoke her first word and what it was. Did anyone even hear? Did anyone care? When she took her first steps, did anyone even notice?
I'm thinking of all of the treasured moments of Connor's first two years of life... first words, first laughs, learning to crawl and then walk, his first time going down a slide, and his first time dipping his toes in the ocean. I cherish every one of those memories. I know that a lifetime of memories with Claire are ahead of us as well and I know that there is so much joy to come but that future joy for now is tinged with the sadness of all that we have lost.
Even as I sit here now and think about these things, I have to remember that for as much as I have lost, Claire will have lost even more. As our plane lifts off from Taiwan to journey over the ocean and back home to Tennessee, our little girl will be saying goodbye to every single thing she has ever known. Her friends... her caregivers... her bed... her favorite foods... her language... her homeland... gone.
I don't know what our first days with our new daughter will be like but I do know that she is going to be grieving all that she has lost. I don't know how she is going to do this... some adopted children rage and lash out while others simply withdraw and go quiet. Who could blame them? I am praying even now that we will be equipped to comfort her... to help her through the transition into her new life. How will we do this.... the words of comfort she would understand can only be spoken in a language we do not know. God grant us patience, peace, and wisdom.
So, today my daughter turns two. I have no idea what this day will hold for her... I like to imagine that her foster family in Taiwan will have a celebration. Maybe some of her friends from pre-school will come over and there will be cake and ice cream... perhaps they will sing a song to her and she will end up with icing all over her face. Maybe she will celebrate... or maybe it will be just another day. Like so many other things, I will probably never know.
Here in Tennessee, we celebrated Claire's birthday by having a garage sale. We've spent the last week emptying closets and drawers... shelves and storage tubs. I've never seen so much stuff in our garage and hopefully all of it will be sold. All of the money we make today is going towards buying Claire's bedroom furniture. Connor is sitting at a table selling brownies and drinks with a sign that says "Snacks for my Sissy". Claire is heavy on all of our minds today but we're keeping busy... moving forward... wading our way through this wait the only way we know how. We're a little sad but also incredibly hopeful and excited. We know that next year we will celebrate this day very differently. It's going to be an incredible party... we'll have a lot of lost time to make up for. I can't wait.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Adoption Fundraiser - Family Songs Sampler
Greg writing here...
What you see above is an album of original songs I have put together called "Family Songs Sampler". It's a collection of songs from 3 of my albums, plus a couple of early home demos. All of the songs in this collection are about family... there are love songs, songs about being a parent, even a song I recorded about adoption (the great Julie Miller song "By Way of Sorrow"). As I've played shows all over the place these past few years, without exception these songs have been the most popular.
Just click on the widget above and you will be given the opportunity to download this entire collection of songs. Noisetrade (the company I'm using to create the widget) gives you the option to either email 5 friends about the music or to make a paypal donation. Any amount is fine... from $1 to $25 and all points in between. We receive 90% of that and we'll be putting every penny of it towards our adoption.
To be clear, you can either make a donation or email 5 friends to let them know about the music so if you want the music for free, you can do that.
Anyway, I'm not super comfortable with the whole fundraising idea... I'd rather have a garage sale. But if you're so inclined, please download the music and either make a small donation or help us to spread the word. Thanks.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Adoption Frequently Asked Questions - Post Referral Edition
So now that we have received our referral and we know that Claire will be coming home soon, I figured I would take this opportunity to answer a few more of our most frequently asked questions. You can read the original post here.
When will you bring Claire home? There's really no way to know an exact answer to that question. Best case scenario would be October and the worst case scenario would be more like February or March.
Why does it take so long? After receiving our referral on June 18th, we had to sign and date about 7 pages worth of adoption contracts. Those had to be sent to Kansas (where our agency is) and then to Taiwan. Taiwan then sent us a bunch of documents that we had to sign and have notarized and then state certified (which required a trip to Nashville) and those documents are currently at the TECO office in Atlanta which is basically the Taiwanese embassy. Once those documents make their way back to Taiwan we will go into the court system. We'll have an initial hearing where the judge will be presented all of our documents and a social worker acting on our behalf in Taiwan will request permission for us to adopt. From there it's a 10 day waiting period for birth parents to sign off on everything. Then, whenever the judge gets around to it you'll either get a ruling or he'll request more information. I don't know exactly how the system works but it seems like it can either go really quick or really slow... luck of the draw I guess. Once the judge grants a ruling, they'll make an appointment for us to take Claire to get a Visa and that will be our travel date... it's usually about 3-4 weeks after the final ruling.
Where is Claire right now? Claire is in a foster home in Taiwan. She was in an orphanage until April but at that point she moved to foster care. We're excited about this as it means she is more than likely receiving more attention and care. She's even attending preschool!
How were you matched with Claire? Was it random? Did you choose her? Claire's birth mother decided to place Claire for international adoption in late April and then in mid May, they presented her with several potential families and the birth mother chose us. She has requested that we send her 20 pictures and a short video every year for 15 years which we think is great. She will send cards every year on Claire's birthday and at Chinese New Year.
Will we be able to communicate with Claire while we wait? Unfortunately, no. Due to cultural and language barriers, waiting families usually don't communicate with foster families which I can understand. The good news is that we will be able to send her care packages if we like... we're working on getting the first one together now and we're hoping to send it out soon so it will get to her around the time of her birthday (she'll be 2 on July 18th).
What is Claire's name right now? Hsiang-Ting Hung but everyone calls her Mei-Mei.
Will she be able to speak English? We don't know for sure but almost certainly the answer will be no. Obviously this will be challenging at first but based on everything we've read, she should be able to pick up English at an astonishing rate due to her age.
Won't she be so excited to come home to her forever family? I'll post more in depth on this topic later but in short, probably not at first. Claire has grown up around Taiwanese people (mostly women)... and now she's going to be put in the hands of 2 strangers who don't speak her language, who smell funny to her, who don't know how to make her favorite foods, and who look unusual. Most likely, she'll spend a few days freaking completely out! Think about what your child would have done if at 2 and a half years old you sent them to live in Taiwan with strangers... it's going to be an adjustment for sure! There are lots of tricky things to think of here... attachment issues and things like that and I'll probably post more about it later. I'm reading some books on it and trying to educate myself and once I feel like I know a little more I'll write a bit about it.
She's so cute! I bet you can't wait to get her home! You're right! She's adorable and no, we cannot wait to bring her home! These next few months will be excruciating... we have a lot to do though... a room to paint and a nursery to put together so hopefully those things will keep us busy as we wait.
When will you bring Claire home? There's really no way to know an exact answer to that question. Best case scenario would be October and the worst case scenario would be more like February or March.
Why does it take so long? After receiving our referral on June 18th, we had to sign and date about 7 pages worth of adoption contracts. Those had to be sent to Kansas (where our agency is) and then to Taiwan. Taiwan then sent us a bunch of documents that we had to sign and have notarized and then state certified (which required a trip to Nashville) and those documents are currently at the TECO office in Atlanta which is basically the Taiwanese embassy. Once those documents make their way back to Taiwan we will go into the court system. We'll have an initial hearing where the judge will be presented all of our documents and a social worker acting on our behalf in Taiwan will request permission for us to adopt. From there it's a 10 day waiting period for birth parents to sign off on everything. Then, whenever the judge gets around to it you'll either get a ruling or he'll request more information. I don't know exactly how the system works but it seems like it can either go really quick or really slow... luck of the draw I guess. Once the judge grants a ruling, they'll make an appointment for us to take Claire to get a Visa and that will be our travel date... it's usually about 3-4 weeks after the final ruling.
Where is Claire right now? Claire is in a foster home in Taiwan. She was in an orphanage until April but at that point she moved to foster care. We're excited about this as it means she is more than likely receiving more attention and care. She's even attending preschool!
How were you matched with Claire? Was it random? Did you choose her? Claire's birth mother decided to place Claire for international adoption in late April and then in mid May, they presented her with several potential families and the birth mother chose us. She has requested that we send her 20 pictures and a short video every year for 15 years which we think is great. She will send cards every year on Claire's birthday and at Chinese New Year.
Will we be able to communicate with Claire while we wait? Unfortunately, no. Due to cultural and language barriers, waiting families usually don't communicate with foster families which I can understand. The good news is that we will be able to send her care packages if we like... we're working on getting the first one together now and we're hoping to send it out soon so it will get to her around the time of her birthday (she'll be 2 on July 18th).
What is Claire's name right now? Hsiang-Ting Hung but everyone calls her Mei-Mei.
Will she be able to speak English? We don't know for sure but almost certainly the answer will be no. Obviously this will be challenging at first but based on everything we've read, she should be able to pick up English at an astonishing rate due to her age.
Won't she be so excited to come home to her forever family? I'll post more in depth on this topic later but in short, probably not at first. Claire has grown up around Taiwanese people (mostly women)... and now she's going to be put in the hands of 2 strangers who don't speak her language, who smell funny to her, who don't know how to make her favorite foods, and who look unusual. Most likely, she'll spend a few days freaking completely out! Think about what your child would have done if at 2 and a half years old you sent them to live in Taiwan with strangers... it's going to be an adjustment for sure! There are lots of tricky things to think of here... attachment issues and things like that and I'll probably post more about it later. I'm reading some books on it and trying to educate myself and once I feel like I know a little more I'll write a bit about it.
She's so cute! I bet you can't wait to get her home! You're right! She's adorable and no, we cannot wait to bring her home! These next few months will be excruciating... we have a lot to do though... a room to paint and a nursery to put together so hopefully those things will keep us busy as we wait.
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