Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wrapping up and Heading home!
I had grand ambitions to put together another video for you guys but it looks like that just isn't going to happen. Time kind of ran out on us and when I was going to work on the video I chose to just sleep instead. I'm not sure I've ever been this tired... not so much physically but emotionally it has been an incredibly draining week. We are ready to come home.
Friday was an incredibly emotional day. Things started out easy enough... we took a trip to the lovely Taipei Zoo and even though there was a light rain for most of the day we had a great time. The zoo here is just beautiful and we were able to see a lot of animals you don't see very often in the states including koalas, pandas, and some very unusual monkeys.
After we left the zoo we had arranged for a return visit to the Harmony Home orphanage where Claire had lived for the first 18 months of her life. They had asked us if we could bring her by and allow them to say goodbye to her. Someday maybe we'll look back on it and think it was a good idea but right now, it feels like our first major adoptive parenting mistake.
Claire absolutely flipped out when we first got there... she was just inconsolable... she obviously thought we were leaving her again and we were about to just leave and get her out of there. Then the wonderful woman who founded Harmony Home (Nicole) arrived and Claire immediately recognized her and calmed down. At this point she was able to slowly begin to enjoy her visit. The problem was, over the course of the next hour, she began to call Nicole "mama" and began to ignore Jessica and I.
We knew we were going to be in for it when it was time to go. Fortunately Nicole and Hana were kind enough to give us a ride back to our hotel but sure enough when we took Claire inside and Hana and Nicole didn't follow, she lost it again. We thought we were in for a long night of crying, similar to our first day together, but fortunately she was able to calm down pretty quickly. Within 30 minutes or so she seemed to be back to her normal happy self.
So like I said... on one hand I'm glad that the people who loved Claire for so long (and they obviously just adored her there... one worker tried to get us to trade Claire for a newborn and I'm pretty sure she was serious) had a chance to say goodbye to her. I'm also glad that Claire had one last chance to see her friends... a couple of the children she obviously remembered and it was sweet to see her interact with them. One little girl Claire especially loved... she hugged her several times.
On the other hand, we feel guilty for putting her through the confusion. This has been such a challenging week for her and even though most of the time she is happy, her little world is upside down and we know she is still grieving. To put her in such an emotionally confusing situation without the words to comfort her... I just don't know. There's nothing we can do about it now I guess so I'm not sure what else there is to say.
One kind of cool thing from our return to Harmony Home: We met an American woman who is living in Taiwan right now who adopted a two and a half year old little boy. He lived there at Harmony Home with Claire the entire time she was there and apparently they were good friends. The family is moving back to the US from Taiwan this summer. They live in Pennsylvania but we exchanged information in hopes of keeping in touch. It's pretty cool to think that one of Claire's first playmates will be growing up not too far away from her. Hopefully we can get them together again someday.
It's 7:30 in the morning on Saturday here in Taiwan and our flight leaves tonight at 11:30 pm. Our hotel was gracious enough to give us a 4:00 pm checkout time and I'm thinking it will take every bit of that to get all this stuff packed up. We have an insane amount of luggage... oh my goodness you guys would not even believe it. We were packed completely full on the way here and now we've got another child and all of the clothes she came with to add to the mix. We might have to go buy another bag today somewhere. I'm not even kidding... it's crazy!
We'll certainly keep this blog going for awhile after we get home. There is obviously a lot more of this story to tell. For now though, we're signing off from Taiwan. We are so grateful to all of you who followed along on our journey while we were here. The comments and emails meant a lot to us and it was great to have a connection to home while we were so far away. We were humbled by the incredible amount of prayer and support we had while we were here. Thank you for coming alongside us and experiencing this great joy with our family. We are grateful.
We leave Taiwan at 11:30 pm local time Saturday night. We'll arrive in San Francisco at 9:30 pm Eastern time Saturday night (yes, we're going back in time. Instead of a plane, we're taking a DeLorian) and then we leave for Atlanta at 1:30 AM. We arrive at 6:30 Sunday morning and after a 3 hour layover takeoff for Knoxville at 9:30 with a scheduled arrival of 10:50. We hear there's snow so we're praying that won't be an issue.
That's all for now... See you guys when we get back home.
Friday was an incredibly emotional day. Things started out easy enough... we took a trip to the lovely Taipei Zoo and even though there was a light rain for most of the day we had a great time. The zoo here is just beautiful and we were able to see a lot of animals you don't see very often in the states including koalas, pandas, and some very unusual monkeys.
After we left the zoo we had arranged for a return visit to the Harmony Home orphanage where Claire had lived for the first 18 months of her life. They had asked us if we could bring her by and allow them to say goodbye to her. Someday maybe we'll look back on it and think it was a good idea but right now, it feels like our first major adoptive parenting mistake.
Claire absolutely flipped out when we first got there... she was just inconsolable... she obviously thought we were leaving her again and we were about to just leave and get her out of there. Then the wonderful woman who founded Harmony Home (Nicole) arrived and Claire immediately recognized her and calmed down. At this point she was able to slowly begin to enjoy her visit. The problem was, over the course of the next hour, she began to call Nicole "mama" and began to ignore Jessica and I.
We knew we were going to be in for it when it was time to go. Fortunately Nicole and Hana were kind enough to give us a ride back to our hotel but sure enough when we took Claire inside and Hana and Nicole didn't follow, she lost it again. We thought we were in for a long night of crying, similar to our first day together, but fortunately she was able to calm down pretty quickly. Within 30 minutes or so she seemed to be back to her normal happy self.
So like I said... on one hand I'm glad that the people who loved Claire for so long (and they obviously just adored her there... one worker tried to get us to trade Claire for a newborn and I'm pretty sure she was serious) had a chance to say goodbye to her. I'm also glad that Claire had one last chance to see her friends... a couple of the children she obviously remembered and it was sweet to see her interact with them. One little girl Claire especially loved... she hugged her several times.
On the other hand, we feel guilty for putting her through the confusion. This has been such a challenging week for her and even though most of the time she is happy, her little world is upside down and we know she is still grieving. To put her in such an emotionally confusing situation without the words to comfort her... I just don't know. There's nothing we can do about it now I guess so I'm not sure what else there is to say.
One kind of cool thing from our return to Harmony Home: We met an American woman who is living in Taiwan right now who adopted a two and a half year old little boy. He lived there at Harmony Home with Claire the entire time she was there and apparently they were good friends. The family is moving back to the US from Taiwan this summer. They live in Pennsylvania but we exchanged information in hopes of keeping in touch. It's pretty cool to think that one of Claire's first playmates will be growing up not too far away from her. Hopefully we can get them together again someday.
It's 7:30 in the morning on Saturday here in Taiwan and our flight leaves tonight at 11:30 pm. Our hotel was gracious enough to give us a 4:00 pm checkout time and I'm thinking it will take every bit of that to get all this stuff packed up. We have an insane amount of luggage... oh my goodness you guys would not even believe it. We were packed completely full on the way here and now we've got another child and all of the clothes she came with to add to the mix. We might have to go buy another bag today somewhere. I'm not even kidding... it's crazy!
We'll certainly keep this blog going for awhile after we get home. There is obviously a lot more of this story to tell. For now though, we're signing off from Taiwan. We are so grateful to all of you who followed along on our journey while we were here. The comments and emails meant a lot to us and it was great to have a connection to home while we were so far away. We were humbled by the incredible amount of prayer and support we had while we were here. Thank you for coming alongside us and experiencing this great joy with our family. We are grateful.
We leave Taiwan at 11:30 pm local time Saturday night. We'll arrive in San Francisco at 9:30 pm Eastern time Saturday night (yes, we're going back in time. Instead of a plane, we're taking a DeLorian) and then we leave for Atlanta at 1:30 AM. We arrive at 6:30 Sunday morning and after a 3 hour layover takeoff for Knoxville at 9:30 with a scheduled arrival of 10:50. We hear there's snow so we're praying that won't be an issue.
That's all for now... See you guys when we get back home.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Day 8 - A wonderful night
Today was just a wonderful day for the Adkins family here in Taiwan. We had always heard from other adoptive families that when you get your child it will amaze you the ways they fit right into your family. That became very obvious today... we've got a little stinker on our hands. Claire has a fantastic sense of humor and it was on full display today. She was silly all day long.
This morning we went to the National Memorial Hall for a photo shoot we had arranged before we left for Taiwan. We found a local english speaking photographer on Google and he took some family portraits. I'm not sure if we gave him much to work with... Connor had a meltdown (yep, not the toddler we've had for 5 days... the 6 year old we've had since birth) and we had a rough time getting the kids to smile and look in the general direction of the camera. Hopefully something good will come of it.
After that we headed back to the room for lunch and then naptime. We were craving pizza so we asked the front desk if there was anywhere to get pizza in the area. Turns out there was a Pizza Hut and they delivered... 30 minutes later the Adkins family ripped into a large pepperoni pizza in a manner which resembled something you might see on Animal Planet. Best. Pizza. Ever. I hate Pizza Hut too so that's really saying something!
During Claire's nap I went back to AIT to pick up Claire's visa and immigration documents. They come in a sealed envelope and we have to leave them sealed until we get to immigration in San Francisco. I don't know why but I feel like a secret agent delivering these sealed documents. Such mystery and intrigue! I need a fedora.
After nap time we had grand plans to go to the Taipei zoo. Unfortunately when we arrived at the zoo they were closing up for the day... Connor was NOT happy at all. I underestimated his desire to see Pandas. So, we piled into a taxi and went back to the Taipei 101 area and just walked around for awhile. We had Starbucks and a snack from Mister Donut and then walked around the New York, New York mall. We had dinner at an American style restaurant and Claire was just fabulous. She sat in her booster seat the entire meal, ate like a champ, and was in a great mood. One of her favorite games to play with me is to offer me a bite of food (tonight it was french fries) and when I reach out to accept it she snatches it away and eats it herself. She cracks herself up with this and does it again and again. I have to admit, it is pretty funny.
After we made it back to the hotel, the real fun began. Bath time up until tonight had been basically a form of torture. We would put Claire in the tub or the shower and she would scream, thrash, and I'm pretty sure curse in Chinese at us. The past couple of nights had been slightly better... she would scream for a little while and then calm down for the end of it. Well, tonight she saw Connor in the tub and actually went to him and climbed in with him. She stayed in for a good 30 minutes laughing and playing... she didn't want to get out! It was a huge change from the previous few nights and we have no idea what changed. She was so funny... she was splashing us with water, dumping water on Connor's head... all the funny things kids do in the tub. She is such a joy.
Another unpleasant part of our time together has been teeth brushing time. You would not believe the blood-curdling howls that can come out of this child! Each time Jessica would brush she acted like we were ripping her toenails out or something. The only silver lining is that it's easy to brush teeth when someone is screaming. Tonight was a different story... she let Jessica do it and seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards she does the cutest little thing... she comes to Connor and I and breathes in our faces so we can smell her fresh breath. You would have to see it but it's adorable.
Oh yeah, she also peed in the potty 2 different times tonight. They told us she was NOT potty trained but it became obvious to us very quickly that she was ready for it. She lets us know immediately after she goes in her diaper and she wants it changed immediately. We figured any kid who can do that ought to be going in the potty. Tonight we were at the mall and Connor had to go so Jessica asked Claire if she needed to go to (Nee-yow nee-yow is how you say pee-pee in Chinese) and Claire nodded. Jessica took her in and put her on the seat and off she went. Exciting stuff, right?
Then tonight at the hotel she did it again. Afterwards, in what can only be described as a classic display of the phenomenon known as "two steps forward, one step back", she peed in the floor of our hotel room.
It's now 11:00 PM here in Taiwan and everyone is sound asleep. Connor had been sleeping on a couch every night but tonight he decided to sleep in the bed with Mommy and Claire. Claire was so excited that Connor was sleeping next to her... she loves to play with his hair and she ran her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. As soon as Connor was asleep, Claire closed her eyes and fell asleep too.
Today was a good day. It still seems surreal that she is really ours. We know that we still have a lot of work ahead of us... as well as she's doing there are certain to be many, many challenges but we can't help but be encouraged. Each day brings a few small victories and she already feels like she belongs in our family 100%. Her personality is eerily similar to Connor's... they both like to entertain people and both love to make you laugh. They're also both very sweet natured and caring... it seriously is a little freaky how much alike they are. We are just in love with our little girl and getting to know her a little better each day has been such a joy. We can't wait to get home so everyone can meet her. You guys are just going to love her!
This morning we went to the National Memorial Hall for a photo shoot we had arranged before we left for Taiwan. We found a local english speaking photographer on Google and he took some family portraits. I'm not sure if we gave him much to work with... Connor had a meltdown (yep, not the toddler we've had for 5 days... the 6 year old we've had since birth) and we had a rough time getting the kids to smile and look in the general direction of the camera. Hopefully something good will come of it.
After that we headed back to the room for lunch and then naptime. We were craving pizza so we asked the front desk if there was anywhere to get pizza in the area. Turns out there was a Pizza Hut and they delivered... 30 minutes later the Adkins family ripped into a large pepperoni pizza in a manner which resembled something you might see on Animal Planet. Best. Pizza. Ever. I hate Pizza Hut too so that's really saying something!
During Claire's nap I went back to AIT to pick up Claire's visa and immigration documents. They come in a sealed envelope and we have to leave them sealed until we get to immigration in San Francisco. I don't know why but I feel like a secret agent delivering these sealed documents. Such mystery and intrigue! I need a fedora.
After nap time we had grand plans to go to the Taipei zoo. Unfortunately when we arrived at the zoo they were closing up for the day... Connor was NOT happy at all. I underestimated his desire to see Pandas. So, we piled into a taxi and went back to the Taipei 101 area and just walked around for awhile. We had Starbucks and a snack from Mister Donut and then walked around the New York, New York mall. We had dinner at an American style restaurant and Claire was just fabulous. She sat in her booster seat the entire meal, ate like a champ, and was in a great mood. One of her favorite games to play with me is to offer me a bite of food (tonight it was french fries) and when I reach out to accept it she snatches it away and eats it herself. She cracks herself up with this and does it again and again. I have to admit, it is pretty funny.
After we made it back to the hotel, the real fun began. Bath time up until tonight had been basically a form of torture. We would put Claire in the tub or the shower and she would scream, thrash, and I'm pretty sure curse in Chinese at us. The past couple of nights had been slightly better... she would scream for a little while and then calm down for the end of it. Well, tonight she saw Connor in the tub and actually went to him and climbed in with him. She stayed in for a good 30 minutes laughing and playing... she didn't want to get out! It was a huge change from the previous few nights and we have no idea what changed. She was so funny... she was splashing us with water, dumping water on Connor's head... all the funny things kids do in the tub. She is such a joy.
Another unpleasant part of our time together has been teeth brushing time. You would not believe the blood-curdling howls that can come out of this child! Each time Jessica would brush she acted like we were ripping her toenails out or something. The only silver lining is that it's easy to brush teeth when someone is screaming. Tonight was a different story... she let Jessica do it and seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards she does the cutest little thing... she comes to Connor and I and breathes in our faces so we can smell her fresh breath. You would have to see it but it's adorable.
Oh yeah, she also peed in the potty 2 different times tonight. They told us she was NOT potty trained but it became obvious to us very quickly that she was ready for it. She lets us know immediately after she goes in her diaper and she wants it changed immediately. We figured any kid who can do that ought to be going in the potty. Tonight we were at the mall and Connor had to go so Jessica asked Claire if she needed to go to (Nee-yow nee-yow is how you say pee-pee in Chinese) and Claire nodded. Jessica took her in and put her on the seat and off she went. Exciting stuff, right?
Then tonight at the hotel she did it again. Afterwards, in what can only be described as a classic display of the phenomenon known as "two steps forward, one step back", she peed in the floor of our hotel room.
It's now 11:00 PM here in Taiwan and everyone is sound asleep. Connor had been sleeping on a couch every night but tonight he decided to sleep in the bed with Mommy and Claire. Claire was so excited that Connor was sleeping next to her... she loves to play with his hair and she ran her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. As soon as Connor was asleep, Claire closed her eyes and fell asleep too.
Today was a good day. It still seems surreal that she is really ours. We know that we still have a lot of work ahead of us... as well as she's doing there are certain to be many, many challenges but we can't help but be encouraged. Each day brings a few small victories and she already feels like she belongs in our family 100%. Her personality is eerily similar to Connor's... they both like to entertain people and both love to make you laugh. They're also both very sweet natured and caring... it seriously is a little freaky how much alike they are. We are just in love with our little girl and getting to know her a little better each day has been such a joy. We can't wait to get home so everyone can meet her. You guys are just going to love her!
Days 6 and 7 - We've been busy!
Tuesday and Wednesday seemed to fly by in a blur and we haven't been on the computer as much as we were before but here while Jessica and Claire take an afternoon nap, I thought I would try to give you guys a quick update on how things are going. Here are just a few bullet points of what's been going on.
AIT Appointment
Before we left for Taiwan, this appointment was our biggest source of stress. There were so many documents we still needed to get completed and it was seriously in doubt if that would happen. Fortunately, everything worked out just in the nick of time and our AIT appointment was a success. In fact, I'm going back over there in just a couple of hours to pick up Claire's passport and Visa which will allow her to travel home to the United States. What a relief to have all of the paperwork problems behind us!
Taipei 101
On Tuesday night we went to visit Taipei 101 which until about 2 months ago was the world's tallest building (a title now claimed by the Burj Dubai). We had dinner in the food court downstairs and Claire let me feed her for the first time. I fed her vegetables with chopsticks and she seemed pretty happy with that. One moment of excitement was when she dropped one of the vegetables on the food court floor and then picked it up and ate it before we could stop her. Gross! She is a BIG eater, most likely due to the fact that growing up in an orphanage and a foster home, she hasn't had food available to her as often as she might have liked. She will eat until she is sick (literally) so we're having to watch her pretty closely and cut her off. So far her favorite foods are watermelon, grapes, bananas, oranges, french fries, pudding, rice, vegetables, and today (Thursday) she had some pizza! She loved it!
After we ate dinner at the food court, Connor and I went to the top of the building to the observation deck. It was really awesome and we had a great time looking out over the city. We posed for some funny pictures on a green screen they had up there and they photoshopped our pictures to make it look like I was Godzilla and was hanging off the side of the building dangling Connor over the city. When we get home I'll scan it to show you all... it's pretty funny.
Danshui
On Wednesday night we took the MRT train all the way north to the little community of Danshui. It has a nice little park on the waterfront and there are tons of street musicians, artists, carnival games, and little waterfront shops. It's a great place to just walk around and enjoy being outside.
We ate dinner at Dunkin Doughnuts (don't judge! It is HARD to find food all four of us will eat and they had really good ham and cheese croissants... uh, okay and also doughnuts) and then let the kids run around and play for a little while. Connor and Claire had a great time playing... they both have a lot of energy and letting them burn some of it seemed to improve their moods significantly.
After playtime we walked up and down the street giving Jessica and Claire time to do a little shopping and Connor and I a little time to play some of the boardwalk games. I dominated the "hit water balloons with darts" game but failed big time at the claw-grabber game. Connor had a good time looking at the unusual foods being offered by the street vendors. I tried to convince him to try the world famous Danshui "Squid on a Stick" which is exactly what it sounds like. He wasn't having it. Can't say that I blame him... I don't think I could eat something that was starting at me... those squids still had eyes.
A Few Things about Claire
Jessica is still going to write a blog post at some point but who knows when that will be. Claire still wants to be in her arms a good bit of the time. I know you guys are wondering about how she is doing so I thought I would fill you in just a bit on how her adjustment is going.
Overall, she is doing wonderfully but that doesn't mean there aren't some challenges. We have figured out in the few short days we've been with her that she did not come to us from a very disciplined environment. She can be a little wild and she cries passionately when she is told no. Fortunately this doesn't happen much and each day she's getting better at listening. We say "ting ting!" (stop!) and she gives us puppy dog eyes... I think she's used to getting by with things just by being cute. She can be pretty persuasive!
She is slowly warming up to her daddy... each day we have made a little bit of progress. She still won't let me hold her, feed her, or change her diaper in general but she is starting to let me do more and more with her. This is all perfectly normal and it is also a cultural thing. The men in Taiwanese culture don't really treat their children the way American fathers do. I haven't seen any of the dads here EVER touch their children. No pats on the head, no kisses on the cheek... not much of anything really. Men are usually stern with their kids and assume the role of disciplinarian. Add that to the fact that she came to us from a foster home with no father in it and you can understand why she's a little bit cautious around me. I'm slowly seeing little cracks in her defenses... I'm getting her to smile at me more and more.
Her bond with Jessica and Connor is great. We are so glad we brought Connor on this trip. He has been a wonderful big brother. Considering that he's been dealing with jetlag, an upset tummy, and the stress of adding a new sibling to the family, he's been nothing short of amazing. He has been so patient with Claire and is really helping her adjust to life with our family. I can't imagine him not being here.
The other night they were playing and Claire hit Connor in the face hard enough to make him cry. It was basically a sucker punch! Connor cried pretty hard and Claire just stood there with a horrified look on her face and then the sweetest thing happened. She came to Connor and rubbed his cheek with one hand where she had hit him and ran her fingers through his hair with the other. Then she went to the bathroom and got a tissue and wiped his tears with it. She has such a sweet and mothering personality. She likes for everyone in the family to be together all the time and if she detects anything is wrong at all, she tries to figure out a way to fix it.
She also has a very prissy and sassy little personality. Jessica is just in heaven! I'll let Jessica tell you later all about it but I'm already thinking I'm going to be in trouble when we get home because this little girl loves clothes, shoes, and shopping. Uh-oh!
That's all the time I have to write... we're getting ready to head out to the Taipei zoo for the afternoon. We'll have more later. As I wrap up, here are a few pictures from the past couple of days for you to enjoy.
Claire LOVES escalators. We have no idea why but she cracks up laughing every time.
At the Danshui night market
Connor on the streets of Danshui
Burning some energy at the park in Danshui, Taiwan
Connor and Claire playing at lunchtime - Splendor hotel, Kaoshiung City
Claire just loves her big brother and has a very nurturing personality.
The princess LOVES playgrounds!
Too cute!
AIT Appointment
Before we left for Taiwan, this appointment was our biggest source of stress. There were so many documents we still needed to get completed and it was seriously in doubt if that would happen. Fortunately, everything worked out just in the nick of time and our AIT appointment was a success. In fact, I'm going back over there in just a couple of hours to pick up Claire's passport and Visa which will allow her to travel home to the United States. What a relief to have all of the paperwork problems behind us!
Taipei 101
On Tuesday night we went to visit Taipei 101 which until about 2 months ago was the world's tallest building (a title now claimed by the Burj Dubai). We had dinner in the food court downstairs and Claire let me feed her for the first time. I fed her vegetables with chopsticks and she seemed pretty happy with that. One moment of excitement was when she dropped one of the vegetables on the food court floor and then picked it up and ate it before we could stop her. Gross! She is a BIG eater, most likely due to the fact that growing up in an orphanage and a foster home, she hasn't had food available to her as often as she might have liked. She will eat until she is sick (literally) so we're having to watch her pretty closely and cut her off. So far her favorite foods are watermelon, grapes, bananas, oranges, french fries, pudding, rice, vegetables, and today (Thursday) she had some pizza! She loved it!
After we ate dinner at the food court, Connor and I went to the top of the building to the observation deck. It was really awesome and we had a great time looking out over the city. We posed for some funny pictures on a green screen they had up there and they photoshopped our pictures to make it look like I was Godzilla and was hanging off the side of the building dangling Connor over the city. When we get home I'll scan it to show you all... it's pretty funny.
Danshui
On Wednesday night we took the MRT train all the way north to the little community of Danshui. It has a nice little park on the waterfront and there are tons of street musicians, artists, carnival games, and little waterfront shops. It's a great place to just walk around and enjoy being outside.
We ate dinner at Dunkin Doughnuts (don't judge! It is HARD to find food all four of us will eat and they had really good ham and cheese croissants... uh, okay and also doughnuts) and then let the kids run around and play for a little while. Connor and Claire had a great time playing... they both have a lot of energy and letting them burn some of it seemed to improve their moods significantly.
After playtime we walked up and down the street giving Jessica and Claire time to do a little shopping and Connor and I a little time to play some of the boardwalk games. I dominated the "hit water balloons with darts" game but failed big time at the claw-grabber game. Connor had a good time looking at the unusual foods being offered by the street vendors. I tried to convince him to try the world famous Danshui "Squid on a Stick" which is exactly what it sounds like. He wasn't having it. Can't say that I blame him... I don't think I could eat something that was starting at me... those squids still had eyes.
A Few Things about Claire
Jessica is still going to write a blog post at some point but who knows when that will be. Claire still wants to be in her arms a good bit of the time. I know you guys are wondering about how she is doing so I thought I would fill you in just a bit on how her adjustment is going.
Overall, she is doing wonderfully but that doesn't mean there aren't some challenges. We have figured out in the few short days we've been with her that she did not come to us from a very disciplined environment. She can be a little wild and she cries passionately when she is told no. Fortunately this doesn't happen much and each day she's getting better at listening. We say "ting ting!" (stop!) and she gives us puppy dog eyes... I think she's used to getting by with things just by being cute. She can be pretty persuasive!
She is slowly warming up to her daddy... each day we have made a little bit of progress. She still won't let me hold her, feed her, or change her diaper in general but she is starting to let me do more and more with her. This is all perfectly normal and it is also a cultural thing. The men in Taiwanese culture don't really treat their children the way American fathers do. I haven't seen any of the dads here EVER touch their children. No pats on the head, no kisses on the cheek... not much of anything really. Men are usually stern with their kids and assume the role of disciplinarian. Add that to the fact that she came to us from a foster home with no father in it and you can understand why she's a little bit cautious around me. I'm slowly seeing little cracks in her defenses... I'm getting her to smile at me more and more.
Her bond with Jessica and Connor is great. We are so glad we brought Connor on this trip. He has been a wonderful big brother. Considering that he's been dealing with jetlag, an upset tummy, and the stress of adding a new sibling to the family, he's been nothing short of amazing. He has been so patient with Claire and is really helping her adjust to life with our family. I can't imagine him not being here.
The other night they were playing and Claire hit Connor in the face hard enough to make him cry. It was basically a sucker punch! Connor cried pretty hard and Claire just stood there with a horrified look on her face and then the sweetest thing happened. She came to Connor and rubbed his cheek with one hand where she had hit him and ran her fingers through his hair with the other. Then she went to the bathroom and got a tissue and wiped his tears with it. She has such a sweet and mothering personality. She likes for everyone in the family to be together all the time and if she detects anything is wrong at all, she tries to figure out a way to fix it.
She also has a very prissy and sassy little personality. Jessica is just in heaven! I'll let Jessica tell you later all about it but I'm already thinking I'm going to be in trouble when we get home because this little girl loves clothes, shoes, and shopping. Uh-oh!
That's all the time I have to write... we're getting ready to head out to the Taipei zoo for the afternoon. We'll have more later. As I wrap up, here are a few pictures from the past couple of days for you to enjoy.
Claire LOVES escalators. We have no idea why but she cracks up laughing every time.
At the Danshui night market
Connor on the streets of Danshui
Burning some energy at the park in Danshui, Taiwan
Connor and Claire playing at lunchtime - Splendor hotel, Kaoshiung City
Claire just loves her big brother and has a very nurturing personality.
The princess LOVES playgrounds!
Too cute!Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Day 5 - Travel and Transition
Sorry we've slacked off a bit on writing and updates... we have more pictures and videos to share hopefully tomorrow but we've just been so busy and when we haven't been going, we've been absolutely exhausted. We're all drained.
Jessica has a blog post she's going to make whenever she gets a few minutes free but at the rate we're going, that might be after we get back to the states! Claire pretty much insists on being held by Jessica the whole time we're in the hotel room. Once we go out, she's sassy, fun, and independent but at the hotel she's extremely clingy. It makes sense though... just 3 days ago she was taken to a hotel by her foster mother and left with us so we understand her being nervous.
Jessica has so much she wants to share about Claire's personality. It has been a joy to discover new things each day. She is smart, funny, sassy, stubborn, adorable, and especially brave. She has been through a lot of pain in her short little life... she has been taken away from everything she knows 3 different times now and there is certainly evidence of that. This isn't going to be a quick fix... it might take years before she is able to overcome all that she has been through. It's going to take a lot of patience and love... we're anxious to get her home so we can begin working on all of these things.
So, I'm going to let Jessica share a lot of little things about her that we've learned and I'm going to stick to letting you know the sorts of things we have been doing.
Day 5 in Taiwan began in Kaohsiung City. We got up early and went to breakfast at the hotel. The hotel we stayed at was AMAZING... it is commonly referred to by tourists as "The Transformer Hotel" because it looks like a giant robot. It's about 80 stories high and is the tallest building in the city. The breakfast buffet was fabulous... a huge selection of traditional Chinese breakfast foods (they eat some unusual things for breakfast... salad with thousand island dressing is very popular) but they also have tons of fruit and western style foods too. Connor was excited to find they had pancakes and bacon. Claire mostly eats fruit and she can flat put it away... this little girl can EAT!
You guys wouldn't believe the stir we create when we show up to eat in there. I would guess there are several hundred people eating at a time in a huge dining room and when we walk in with our red headed boy and our Taiwanese daughter, heads turn and people stare. It's really funny too... they don't even try to hide their stares... they just stare at us and don't even care if we notice. Connor generally is met with smiles and we have been told several times "he is very handsome". I'm not sure they've ever seen a red headed boy before. We've been here 5 days now and we've only seen one other American couple and zero American children. You just don't see foreign kids here... it's not much of a tourist destination I guess... I mean how many of you have ever heard of Kaohsiung City, Taiwan before now? More interesting than the reaction to Connor is the reaction to Claire. People look at Jessica and Claire like they just stepped off a flying saucer. When Claire calls Jessica "mama" people's jaws literally just fall open and I'm not exaggerating. It is hilarious. In Taiwan, adoption is basically unheard of.
Anyway, back to our day... The hotel has a little playground in a room off of the side of the restaurant similar to what you would see in a McDonalds back home. Connor and Claire had a great time playing in there... she loves to go down the slides, especially with Connor. It's amazing to watch Connor play with the Taiwanese kids... he can't speak a word of Chinese but with kids, it doesn't matter. Within minutes he is able to make friends and play just like he would back home. It's really sweet to see him having this great experience. Being the only red headed American in the entire country hasn't seemed to phase him one bit.
After breakfast and play time, it was time to pack up and head back to Taipei. We were worried about how Claire would do on the high speed train but she did really great. She got a bit antsy towards the end of the trip but overall, it was a success. A two hour train ride is a lot different from an 11 hour flight but it gave us a little hope that maybe the flight won't be all bad.
By the time we got back to Taipei, we were exhausted. Travel with 2 kids and 4 suitcases took a lot out of us... cab rides, escalators, lugging our bags around... it was just a lot. We decided not to really do anything once we got to our new hotel in Taipei (the Fullon hotel, recommended by the Dunn's. It is lovely!). We ordered room service for dinner and then settled in for bed.
Well, we thought we were settling into bed. Claire took her bedtime bottle and then got sick. Big time sick. Think "The Exorcist" and then double it. It just kept coming and coming and coming. Bless her little heart... the new foods we have been giving her are probably confusing her little tummy not to mention the nerves of travel with people she still basically doesn't know. After a traumatic bath (Claire HATES the bathtub with an intense passion. Seriously... she goes boneless and just shrieks!) and a change of the bedsheets, we finally got Claire to go to sleep.
Then about an hour later, Jessica heard someone pacing around the room talking. Connor was sleep walking and having a very bad dream. He was confused and disoriented and didn't know who we were or where he was. It took us a little while to get him calmed down but we finally did and the Adkins family finally all got some sleep.
That's all for now... hopefully later on we'll have a little more video for you to enjoy. Thank you all for the comments on the video we posted yesterday. We're so glad to have so many people following along on our journey and keeping us in your prayers. Keep 'em coming!
Jessica has a blog post she's going to make whenever she gets a few minutes free but at the rate we're going, that might be after we get back to the states! Claire pretty much insists on being held by Jessica the whole time we're in the hotel room. Once we go out, she's sassy, fun, and independent but at the hotel she's extremely clingy. It makes sense though... just 3 days ago she was taken to a hotel by her foster mother and left with us so we understand her being nervous.
Jessica has so much she wants to share about Claire's personality. It has been a joy to discover new things each day. She is smart, funny, sassy, stubborn, adorable, and especially brave. She has been through a lot of pain in her short little life... she has been taken away from everything she knows 3 different times now and there is certainly evidence of that. This isn't going to be a quick fix... it might take years before she is able to overcome all that she has been through. It's going to take a lot of patience and love... we're anxious to get her home so we can begin working on all of these things.
So, I'm going to let Jessica share a lot of little things about her that we've learned and I'm going to stick to letting you know the sorts of things we have been doing.
Day 5 in Taiwan began in Kaohsiung City. We got up early and went to breakfast at the hotel. The hotel we stayed at was AMAZING... it is commonly referred to by tourists as "The Transformer Hotel" because it looks like a giant robot. It's about 80 stories high and is the tallest building in the city. The breakfast buffet was fabulous... a huge selection of traditional Chinese breakfast foods (they eat some unusual things for breakfast... salad with thousand island dressing is very popular) but they also have tons of fruit and western style foods too. Connor was excited to find they had pancakes and bacon. Claire mostly eats fruit and she can flat put it away... this little girl can EAT!
You guys wouldn't believe the stir we create when we show up to eat in there. I would guess there are several hundred people eating at a time in a huge dining room and when we walk in with our red headed boy and our Taiwanese daughter, heads turn and people stare. It's really funny too... they don't even try to hide their stares... they just stare at us and don't even care if we notice. Connor generally is met with smiles and we have been told several times "he is very handsome". I'm not sure they've ever seen a red headed boy before. We've been here 5 days now and we've only seen one other American couple and zero American children. You just don't see foreign kids here... it's not much of a tourist destination I guess... I mean how many of you have ever heard of Kaohsiung City, Taiwan before now? More interesting than the reaction to Connor is the reaction to Claire. People look at Jessica and Claire like they just stepped off a flying saucer. When Claire calls Jessica "mama" people's jaws literally just fall open and I'm not exaggerating. It is hilarious. In Taiwan, adoption is basically unheard of.
Anyway, back to our day... The hotel has a little playground in a room off of the side of the restaurant similar to what you would see in a McDonalds back home. Connor and Claire had a great time playing in there... she loves to go down the slides, especially with Connor. It's amazing to watch Connor play with the Taiwanese kids... he can't speak a word of Chinese but with kids, it doesn't matter. Within minutes he is able to make friends and play just like he would back home. It's really sweet to see him having this great experience. Being the only red headed American in the entire country hasn't seemed to phase him one bit.
After breakfast and play time, it was time to pack up and head back to Taipei. We were worried about how Claire would do on the high speed train but she did really great. She got a bit antsy towards the end of the trip but overall, it was a success. A two hour train ride is a lot different from an 11 hour flight but it gave us a little hope that maybe the flight won't be all bad.
By the time we got back to Taipei, we were exhausted. Travel with 2 kids and 4 suitcases took a lot out of us... cab rides, escalators, lugging our bags around... it was just a lot. We decided not to really do anything once we got to our new hotel in Taipei (the Fullon hotel, recommended by the Dunn's. It is lovely!). We ordered room service for dinner and then settled in for bed.
Well, we thought we were settling into bed. Claire took her bedtime bottle and then got sick. Big time sick. Think "The Exorcist" and then double it. It just kept coming and coming and coming. Bless her little heart... the new foods we have been giving her are probably confusing her little tummy not to mention the nerves of travel with people she still basically doesn't know. After a traumatic bath (Claire HATES the bathtub with an intense passion. Seriously... she goes boneless and just shrieks!) and a change of the bedsheets, we finally got Claire to go to sleep.
Then about an hour later, Jessica heard someone pacing around the room talking. Connor was sleep walking and having a very bad dream. He was confused and disoriented and didn't know who we were or where he was. It took us a little while to get him calmed down but we finally did and the Adkins family finally all got some sleep.
That's all for now... hopefully later on we'll have a little more video for you to enjoy. Thank you all for the comments on the video we posted yesterday. We're so glad to have so many people following along on our journey and keeping us in your prayers. Keep 'em coming!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Day 4 - A Few Pictures
We took Claire to Toys R Us and she picked out this jewelry. The necklace and ring light up and she loves wearing it!
Connor thinks Taiwan is A-OK! Seriously, he's having a great time. We asked him tonight if he liked it and he said "It's just like home except everyone looks different and the food is weird."
This afternoon Claire fell asleep in her carrier. Such a sweet little girl!
We spent the afternoon at the "Dream Mall" in Kaohsiung. It was a BLAST and on the roof is a huge outdoor carnival complete with a giant "Hello Kitty" Ferris Wheel. For $2.00 Connor got to climb inside this giant ball and bounce around in a pool. He thought it was awesome.
Proof that Greg is actually here. So far he's been the one behind the camera most of the time. This picture cracks us up... it looks like Connor's being punished. Go sit in your giant ball while I pose for this picture! Now! 
Mommy and Claire at the famous Taiwanese restaurant "TGI Fridays".
When signs in Taiwan are written in English, they're usually hilarious. This shop is supposed to be called "That Toy is Funny". You see how things turned out... 
At the Dream Mall, they have these giant panda bears you can ride. You get like a five minute ride for fifty cents and you can literally ride them all around the mall. They're on the fifth floor and everywhere you walk there are people coming and going riding on these giant pandas. They have a gas pedal and a forward / reverse switch. Connor LOVED these things. 
Seriously, they need to get these at West Towne Mall.
Mommy and Claire playing at a little playground we found in our hotel. 
More fun at the playground. It was a great day! We'll have some stories and observations on our daughter for you later. DAY 3 - A Family of Four
What an amazing day it was. The day our daughter finally became a part of her forever family. There is plenty to tell and not much time for me to tell it in so I'll get right to it!
We left Taipei at 9:00 and took the High Speed Rail to Kaohsiung City. The bullet train was amazing... crazy fast, very comfortable, and it gave us a great look at the Taiwanese countryside. It's amazing how in places it didn't really look all that different from something you might see in middle America only instead of fields of corn there were fields of rice. It was a great experience.
We didn't arrive in Kaohsiung until 11:00 and we were supposed to meet Claire for the first time at the hotel at only 11:20. All along we had imagined that we would be comfortably settled in our hotel room and there would be a knock at the door. We would open it and there she would be... our daughter.
That's not quite what happened. The foster mom and the social workers beat us to the hotel by a good 15 minutes so when we arrived they were walking around the shopping mall that is on the first level of our hotel (I'll tell you more about this hotel later... it's amazing). We were standing there with our social worker getting ready to go check in when we saw a group of people come around the corner and... there she was. We'll never forget that moment... the little girl out of all of the pictures was right there before our eyes. It took our breath away.
She was curious about us at first but VERY clingy to her foster mom. We all went up to the hotel room together. It was Jessica, Connor and I, our social worker Bernadette, two social workers from Kaohsiung, Claire, her foster mother, and also a boy and a girl who were in foster care with that mom as well. It was quite a crew we had packed into our room... good thing we sprang for the suite for these 2 days in Kaohsiung.
We got out some toys we had brought for Claire and she was really happy about that. She played with Connor and they were doing great while the grown ups talked. We asked the foster mother tons of questions through an interpreter. Mostly boring stuff about diapers, feeding schedules, sleeping schedules, and that sort of thing. Then it was time for the foster mom and the social workers to go. It was tough... the foster mom was a little bit emotional and Claire was a LOT emotional.
When the foster mom finally made it out the door, poor little Claire just lost it. She wailed and sobbed and thrashed and screamed. It was heartbreaking. She knew exactly what was happening as the foster mom had been preparing her. Through our interpreter she told us Claire was crying things like "You aren't my mama" and "I want my auntie". Over and over she went to the door and cried "I want to go look for my auntie".
The good news is that during this time she finally went to Jessica and let her try to comfort her. Jessica held her while she cried and finally after a couple of hours she was able to get her a little bit calm which was a good thing because right about then we had a visit from Claire's birth grandfather, her half-sister, and also her birth mother. We didn't know until that morning that we would be meeting the birth mother... we had been told all along that we would not. We're so glad that we did.
The details of that meeting will remain private... some parts of the story don't need to be spoken. All we'll say is that we're really glad we were able to meet the birth family and also that we were able to get some pictures and video. We think Claire will be grateful for that someday.
After the family left we said our goodbyes with our social worker and all of a sudden, after a whirlwind day of craziness, there we were. Alone in the room, a family of four, together.
The rest of the night was spent hanging out in the room at the hotel. Claire slowly started to come out of her shell a little bit and by the end of the night, we all had earned a few sweet little smiles. She is joined at the hip to Jessica and will not leave her sight. She is already calling her mama and seriously, if Jessica leaves the room, Claire freaks out immediately.
She absolutely LOVES Connor. She has been more affectionate with him than with anyone rubbing his hair and even giving him a couple of hugs.
As for me... well, she's not quite sure what to make of me so far. If she is the one to initiate a little bit of play, she'll tolerate me for a few minutes. If I try to talk to her or touch her though, she will push me away and sometimes even cry. This is not surprising to us at all... it is common in toddler adoption for the child to bond tightly to one parent and somewhat reject the other. All of the books we had read prepared us for this and we're alright with it. It hurts a little but hey, this isn't about me! This little girl had her world turned upside down... she can have all the time she needs. She'll be a daddy's girl before too long I'm sure.
All things considered, Claire did incredibly well on her first day. She ate like a champ (dinner was apples, bananas, cheese bread, and a little bit of a doughnut) and she let Jessica give her a bottle (Asian children tend to stay on formula until they are 2 or 3). She finally fell asleep around 10:30 and slept soundly until about 7:00 the next morning.
Sorry I don't have time to go into more detail... we have absolutely been spending every waking moment with Claire. We'll have much more to tell later and hopefully some video soon as well. I'm slowly working on editing it but I have to do it when Claire is asleep because if she hears her foster mom talking on the tape she cries for her.
Thank you all so much for the continued comments, emails, and prayers. They have meant the world to us.
Jessica and Claire with their matching bracelets.
Connor and Claire looking out our 56nd story window at the city of Kaohsiung, Taiwan
Claire had a very hard and emotional first day. As joyful as it was for us, it was scary and confusing for her. She is such a brave and resilient little girl.
Connor with Claire's half-sister. They are both six and hit it off immediately. Claire's and her sister look a lot alike... we're so glad to have some pictures!
Just moments after meeting Claire for the very first time.
Connor was so wonderful with her all day long. He is so excited to have a little sister and he has been unbelievably sweet. We are SO GLAD he came with us.
We left Taipei at 9:00 and took the High Speed Rail to Kaohsiung City. The bullet train was amazing... crazy fast, very comfortable, and it gave us a great look at the Taiwanese countryside. It's amazing how in places it didn't really look all that different from something you might see in middle America only instead of fields of corn there were fields of rice. It was a great experience.
We didn't arrive in Kaohsiung until 11:00 and we were supposed to meet Claire for the first time at the hotel at only 11:20. All along we had imagined that we would be comfortably settled in our hotel room and there would be a knock at the door. We would open it and there she would be... our daughter.
That's not quite what happened. The foster mom and the social workers beat us to the hotel by a good 15 minutes so when we arrived they were walking around the shopping mall that is on the first level of our hotel (I'll tell you more about this hotel later... it's amazing). We were standing there with our social worker getting ready to go check in when we saw a group of people come around the corner and... there she was. We'll never forget that moment... the little girl out of all of the pictures was right there before our eyes. It took our breath away.
She was curious about us at first but VERY clingy to her foster mom. We all went up to the hotel room together. It was Jessica, Connor and I, our social worker Bernadette, two social workers from Kaohsiung, Claire, her foster mother, and also a boy and a girl who were in foster care with that mom as well. It was quite a crew we had packed into our room... good thing we sprang for the suite for these 2 days in Kaohsiung.
We got out some toys we had brought for Claire and she was really happy about that. She played with Connor and they were doing great while the grown ups talked. We asked the foster mother tons of questions through an interpreter. Mostly boring stuff about diapers, feeding schedules, sleeping schedules, and that sort of thing. Then it was time for the foster mom and the social workers to go. It was tough... the foster mom was a little bit emotional and Claire was a LOT emotional.
When the foster mom finally made it out the door, poor little Claire just lost it. She wailed and sobbed and thrashed and screamed. It was heartbreaking. She knew exactly what was happening as the foster mom had been preparing her. Through our interpreter she told us Claire was crying things like "You aren't my mama" and "I want my auntie". Over and over she went to the door and cried "I want to go look for my auntie".
The good news is that during this time she finally went to Jessica and let her try to comfort her. Jessica held her while she cried and finally after a couple of hours she was able to get her a little bit calm which was a good thing because right about then we had a visit from Claire's birth grandfather, her half-sister, and also her birth mother. We didn't know until that morning that we would be meeting the birth mother... we had been told all along that we would not. We're so glad that we did.
The details of that meeting will remain private... some parts of the story don't need to be spoken. All we'll say is that we're really glad we were able to meet the birth family and also that we were able to get some pictures and video. We think Claire will be grateful for that someday.
After the family left we said our goodbyes with our social worker and all of a sudden, after a whirlwind day of craziness, there we were. Alone in the room, a family of four, together.
The rest of the night was spent hanging out in the room at the hotel. Claire slowly started to come out of her shell a little bit and by the end of the night, we all had earned a few sweet little smiles. She is joined at the hip to Jessica and will not leave her sight. She is already calling her mama and seriously, if Jessica leaves the room, Claire freaks out immediately.
She absolutely LOVES Connor. She has been more affectionate with him than with anyone rubbing his hair and even giving him a couple of hugs.
As for me... well, she's not quite sure what to make of me so far. If she is the one to initiate a little bit of play, she'll tolerate me for a few minutes. If I try to talk to her or touch her though, she will push me away and sometimes even cry. This is not surprising to us at all... it is common in toddler adoption for the child to bond tightly to one parent and somewhat reject the other. All of the books we had read prepared us for this and we're alright with it. It hurts a little but hey, this isn't about me! This little girl had her world turned upside down... she can have all the time she needs. She'll be a daddy's girl before too long I'm sure.
All things considered, Claire did incredibly well on her first day. She ate like a champ (dinner was apples, bananas, cheese bread, and a little bit of a doughnut) and she let Jessica give her a bottle (Asian children tend to stay on formula until they are 2 or 3). She finally fell asleep around 10:30 and slept soundly until about 7:00 the next morning.
Sorry I don't have time to go into more detail... we have absolutely been spending every waking moment with Claire. We'll have much more to tell later and hopefully some video soon as well. I'm slowly working on editing it but I have to do it when Claire is asleep because if she hears her foster mom talking on the tape she cries for her.
Thank you all so much for the continued comments, emails, and prayers. They have meant the world to us.
CLICK EACH PICTURE TO SEE A FULL SIZE VERSION
Jessica and Claire with their matching bracelets.
Connor and Claire looking out our 56nd story window at the city of Kaohsiung, Taiwan
Claire had a very hard and emotional first day. As joyful as it was for us, it was scary and confusing for her. She is such a brave and resilient little girl.
Connor with Claire's half-sister. They are both six and hit it off immediately. Claire's and her sister look a lot alike... we're so glad to have some pictures!
Just moments after meeting Claire for the very first time.
Connor was so wonderful with her all day long. He is so excited to have a little sister and he has been unbelievably sweet. We are SO GLAD he came with us. Saturday, February 6, 2010
Introducing our daughter, Claire Elizabeth Adkins
Today was an AMAZING day, full of wonder, joy, and tears. We will tell you all about it... there are so many stories to tell, but for now, we are going to bed. We are beyond exhausted. It's almost 11:00 here local time and Claire is still wide awake and we just haven't had much time to be around the computer. I intend to have a video online for you all to see tomorrow morning sometime (hopefully by Saturday night Eastern time) and we'll try to update the blog with the full story by then too.
Good night!
Friday, February 5, 2010
BREAKING NEWS!
Great news! We just received word that all of our paperwork has been finalized and we are clear to now come home on the 14th as originally planned! No $1000 airline fee! No living in a hotel for a month! Praise God!
And that's not all... Claire's birth mother has been missing for the past month or so. The social workers had been trying to find her to get one last document signed to ensure we would have no trouble getting Claire's Visa. Turns out that she finally came in to see the social worker and it looks like we have that final document too.
Even when we first received Claire's referral, we were told that we would not meet the birth mother. They told us that she did not want to meet us. In Taiwan most adoptive families meet their child's birth mother so this was a little bit unusual.
Well, we also just received word that Claire's birth mother will possibly be coming today to meet us! I have prayed so hard for this to happen. For us to be able to look her in the eyes and say "thank you" will mean so much... not to mention to have some pictures.
We're just hours away now from holding our daughter for the first time (7 hours and counting...) so please keep praying! We'll try to have a least a small update for you all by the time everyone on the east coast gets up Saturday morning.
And that's not all... Claire's birth mother has been missing for the past month or so. The social workers had been trying to find her to get one last document signed to ensure we would have no trouble getting Claire's Visa. Turns out that she finally came in to see the social worker and it looks like we have that final document too.
Even when we first received Claire's referral, we were told that we would not meet the birth mother. They told us that she did not want to meet us. In Taiwan most adoptive families meet their child's birth mother so this was a little bit unusual.
Well, we also just received word that Claire's birth mother will possibly be coming today to meet us! I have prayed so hard for this to happen. For us to be able to look her in the eyes and say "thank you" will mean so much... not to mention to have some pictures.
We're just hours away now from holding our daughter for the first time (7 hours and counting...) so please keep praying! We'll try to have a least a small update for you all by the time everyone on the east coast gets up Saturday morning.
Day 2 - An incredible day in four parts
Part One
For the first 18 months of Claire's life, she lived in a shelter called the Harmony Home. Today it was our privilege to spend most of the day with the children of Harmony Home and also with two amazing women who were Claire's primary caregivers while she lived there.
Hana is a missionary from the Philipines who is working here in Taipei at the home. She has been an amazing help to us as we've waited these past few months. She sent us an extremely detailed email a few months ago telling us everything she knew about Claire's birth mother…. these are details we never would have known if not for Hana. She also was quite obviously extremely fond of Claire.
Hana and Jessica talking at Harmony Home
Today she gave us a CD with close to 200 pictures of Claire we had never seen before. Some of the pictures look like they were taken when Claire was only about a month old. When I think of families who adopt from China and are lucky to receive 3 or 4 tiny little printed out pictures, having this many high quality digital pictures of our daughter's first year and a half of life are an incredible blessing. We are so thankful for Hana!
One of our new pictures - Claire sleeping at Harmony Home
In addition to Hana we also were able to spend a lot of time today with an incredible woman named Nicole. I heard two different people today refer to her as "The Mother Theresa of Taiwan" and I would have to say that I would agree with them. Let me explain why.
Part Two
In the 1980s Nicole had a friend who was infected with HIV. He was unable to find anyone who would provide him with help because at that time, people were still mostly ignorant of how HIV spread and everyone was afraid to be around him. Everyone except Nicole. She took him in and cared for him and pretty soon the word got out among those who were sick that there was a woman in town who would help them. People kept coming and Nicole kept helping and now, twenty-five years later, there are six Harmony Home shelters in Taiwan and over twenty in mainland China.
Nicole with Claire at Harmony Home
Part of our day today was spent with the children of Harmony Home at a street festival they were having in Taipei to celebrate Chinese New Year. Harmony Home sponsored a booth at this festival to help spread awareness about HIV and how it can be prevented. It was amazing to us to hear stories of how in most Asian countries, HIV is still something that is completely misunderstood and most people are terrified to be around those who are infected. Young people are uneducated on how to avoid contracting it… needles are shared between multiple drug users and from what we were told today, condoms are rarely used by anyone. It is very different from how things are today in the United States.
Let me answer for you now the question you're probably wondering. Yes, Claire's birth mother is HIV positive which is why Claire spent her first 18 months at the Harmony Home. It takes 18 months to confirm if a child born to an infected mother will be positive or negative. Claire was tested regularly over that time and at the end of 18 months was declared to be negative and completely healthy. Let me repeat that: Claire is completely healthy. We praise God every day for saving this precious child's life.
Because of the stigma attached to HIV in Taiwan, if it weren't for the Harmony home, these children would have nowhere else to go. We are grateful beyond words to Nicole for the incredible courage, compassion, and love she has shown over all these years. As a gift for us today, she made us an amazing collage of pictures of Claire with all of her friends from the shelter. It is so comforting to know that even though Claire hasn't been with us for these 2 and a half years, she has been loved and when she leaves Taiwan, there will be people who will remember her and miss her.
At the street festival with the children and volunteers of Harmony Home
Part Three
As wonderful as Hana and Nicole have been and as impressed as I was with both of them, I still haven't told you who made the biggest impression on me today. Let me tell you about one of the most interesting and inspiring people I have ever met. His name is Joseph.
Joseph was born in Japan to a Japanese mother and an Italian father. He went to college at Stanford and then trained to be a plastic surgeon in Charleston, SC. He worked as a plastic surgeon in San Diego and eventually had a successful practice operating on celebrities who wanted to get away from the craziness of L.A. for their procedures. He didn't drop a lot of names but he did mention that he had done a procedure on Janet Jackson's butt. Seriously. I'm not making that up.
Eventually he became the primary plastic surgeon for Playboy magazine. Seriously. I'm not making that up either.
And then one day, Joseph realized that he was made for something better. He quit his job and moved to Taiwan. Even though Joseph couldn't be a day over 45, he is now officially retired.
Today I ate lunch with Joseph. We sat in tiny little chairs trying to squeeze our grown-up sized knees underneath a table made for toddlers. We ate simple food… rice, fried eggs, fish, and vegetables. We sat surrounded by children and all of them absolutely loved this man. He knew them all by name and knew the best parts of all of their personalities. He knew just what to do to make them laugh. He also knew their stories… where they had come from and where they were going. If it weren't for all of the paperwork involved he probably would have convinced us to adopt another 3 or 4 kids right there on the spot. Lord knows he tried.
Joseph is now a full-time volunteer for the Harmony home. He took the pile of money he made doing plastic surgery and now he travels all over Taiwan and China helping to spread awareness about HIV and raising funds for the work that they are doing. "In China, helping people with HIV is illegal" he told me. I asked him if the work he did there was dangerous. "Sure it is" he said. "They could beat me badly or even throw me in prison for the work I do but man, I don't even care. I'm not afraid." I was looking him in the eyes when he said it and he didn't blink and when he says he's not afraid, I believe him.
Oh yeah, and he's also an ordained minister.
It's not everyday that you come eye to eye with someone who is just completely filled with passion for what they are doing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people who love what they do, but this guy was just off the charts. He looked me in the eye and said "I would love to come to your church to talk to your parishioners and get them involved with the work we are doing." He wasn't joking either. He didn't care that we were from a place 28 hours away by plane clear on the other side of the world… all he cared about was finding an ear willing to listen to him talk about his passion. If I could guarantee him that, he said he was willing to come. Amazing.
Oh yeah, and he also does magic tricks. You can ask Connor.
Joseph and a little boy named Xi-Xi at the street festival
Part Three and a half
Something really funny that happened today: We were at the booth setup by Harmony Home at the street festival looking at the t-shirts they were selling when all of a sudden I hear Connor asking if he can have something. I look down to see him holding five individually wrapped rainbow colored condoms. "They're free dad" he said. "No son, I don't think so. Do you know what those are?" He looked at them. "No, but they're free!" Turns out Nicole had given them to Connor and told him they were free and then snuck away to watch us squirm from a distance. Jessica saw her across the crowd watching us and laughing her head off.
She may be the Mother Theresa of Taiwan but the woman has a great sense of humor. I'm all for sex education but not quite yet!
Part Four
So that was how we spent our day and what an amazing day it was. We will forever be grateful that we had the opportunity to get to know the people who loved Claire the most when she was little.
And now, it is time. Tomorrow morning we will get up early, eat a quick breakfast, and take a two hour train ride to the southern Taiwan city of Kaohsiung. We will take a taxi to our hotel and then, at 11:20 in the morning, Claire will finally be with us. We're full of more emotions than we could even begin to describe right now... certainly joy but also a little bit of fear if we're being honest. Tomorrow all four of our lives change forever.
I guess tomorrow we'll need to find a new name for the blog because in just over 14 hours, Our Journey to Claire will finally be over. What else is there to say?
We'll leave you for today with a few more pictures.
One side of the beautiful collage Nicole gave us today as a gift.
Do you think they would let us adopt more than one?
We had a great time playing ball with this handsome little guy.
Connor and Xi-Xi at Harmony Home
For the first 18 months of Claire's life, she lived in a shelter called the Harmony Home. Today it was our privilege to spend most of the day with the children of Harmony Home and also with two amazing women who were Claire's primary caregivers while she lived there.
Hana is a missionary from the Philipines who is working here in Taipei at the home. She has been an amazing help to us as we've waited these past few months. She sent us an extremely detailed email a few months ago telling us everything she knew about Claire's birth mother…. these are details we never would have known if not for Hana. She also was quite obviously extremely fond of Claire.
Hana and Jessica talking at Harmony Home
One of our new pictures - Claire sleeping at Harmony HomePart Two
In the 1980s Nicole had a friend who was infected with HIV. He was unable to find anyone who would provide him with help because at that time, people were still mostly ignorant of how HIV spread and everyone was afraid to be around him. Everyone except Nicole. She took him in and cared for him and pretty soon the word got out among those who were sick that there was a woman in town who would help them. People kept coming and Nicole kept helping and now, twenty-five years later, there are six Harmony Home shelters in Taiwan and over twenty in mainland China.
Nicole with Claire at Harmony HomePart of our day today was spent with the children of Harmony Home at a street festival they were having in Taipei to celebrate Chinese New Year. Harmony Home sponsored a booth at this festival to help spread awareness about HIV and how it can be prevented. It was amazing to us to hear stories of how in most Asian countries, HIV is still something that is completely misunderstood and most people are terrified to be around those who are infected. Young people are uneducated on how to avoid contracting it… needles are shared between multiple drug users and from what we were told today, condoms are rarely used by anyone. It is very different from how things are today in the United States.
Let me answer for you now the question you're probably wondering. Yes, Claire's birth mother is HIV positive which is why Claire spent her first 18 months at the Harmony Home. It takes 18 months to confirm if a child born to an infected mother will be positive or negative. Claire was tested regularly over that time and at the end of 18 months was declared to be negative and completely healthy. Let me repeat that: Claire is completely healthy. We praise God every day for saving this precious child's life.
Because of the stigma attached to HIV in Taiwan, if it weren't for the Harmony home, these children would have nowhere else to go. We are grateful beyond words to Nicole for the incredible courage, compassion, and love she has shown over all these years. As a gift for us today, she made us an amazing collage of pictures of Claire with all of her friends from the shelter. It is so comforting to know that even though Claire hasn't been with us for these 2 and a half years, she has been loved and when she leaves Taiwan, there will be people who will remember her and miss her.
At the street festival with the children and volunteers of Harmony HomePart Three
As wonderful as Hana and Nicole have been and as impressed as I was with both of them, I still haven't told you who made the biggest impression on me today. Let me tell you about one of the most interesting and inspiring people I have ever met. His name is Joseph.
Joseph was born in Japan to a Japanese mother and an Italian father. He went to college at Stanford and then trained to be a plastic surgeon in Charleston, SC. He worked as a plastic surgeon in San Diego and eventually had a successful practice operating on celebrities who wanted to get away from the craziness of L.A. for their procedures. He didn't drop a lot of names but he did mention that he had done a procedure on Janet Jackson's butt. Seriously. I'm not making that up.
Eventually he became the primary plastic surgeon for Playboy magazine. Seriously. I'm not making that up either.
And then one day, Joseph realized that he was made for something better. He quit his job and moved to Taiwan. Even though Joseph couldn't be a day over 45, he is now officially retired.
Today I ate lunch with Joseph. We sat in tiny little chairs trying to squeeze our grown-up sized knees underneath a table made for toddlers. We ate simple food… rice, fried eggs, fish, and vegetables. We sat surrounded by children and all of them absolutely loved this man. He knew them all by name and knew the best parts of all of their personalities. He knew just what to do to make them laugh. He also knew their stories… where they had come from and where they were going. If it weren't for all of the paperwork involved he probably would have convinced us to adopt another 3 or 4 kids right there on the spot. Lord knows he tried.
Joseph is now a full-time volunteer for the Harmony home. He took the pile of money he made doing plastic surgery and now he travels all over Taiwan and China helping to spread awareness about HIV and raising funds for the work that they are doing. "In China, helping people with HIV is illegal" he told me. I asked him if the work he did there was dangerous. "Sure it is" he said. "They could beat me badly or even throw me in prison for the work I do but man, I don't even care. I'm not afraid." I was looking him in the eyes when he said it and he didn't blink and when he says he's not afraid, I believe him.
Oh yeah, and he's also an ordained minister.
It's not everyday that you come eye to eye with someone who is just completely filled with passion for what they are doing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people who love what they do, but this guy was just off the charts. He looked me in the eye and said "I would love to come to your church to talk to your parishioners and get them involved with the work we are doing." He wasn't joking either. He didn't care that we were from a place 28 hours away by plane clear on the other side of the world… all he cared about was finding an ear willing to listen to him talk about his passion. If I could guarantee him that, he said he was willing to come. Amazing.
Oh yeah, and he also does magic tricks. You can ask Connor.
Joseph and a little boy named Xi-Xi at the street festivalPart Three and a half
Something really funny that happened today: We were at the booth setup by Harmony Home at the street festival looking at the t-shirts they were selling when all of a sudden I hear Connor asking if he can have something. I look down to see him holding five individually wrapped rainbow colored condoms. "They're free dad" he said. "No son, I don't think so. Do you know what those are?" He looked at them. "No, but they're free!" Turns out Nicole had given them to Connor and told him they were free and then snuck away to watch us squirm from a distance. Jessica saw her across the crowd watching us and laughing her head off.
She may be the Mother Theresa of Taiwan but the woman has a great sense of humor. I'm all for sex education but not quite yet!
Part Four
So that was how we spent our day and what an amazing day it was. We will forever be grateful that we had the opportunity to get to know the people who loved Claire the most when she was little.
And now, it is time. Tomorrow morning we will get up early, eat a quick breakfast, and take a two hour train ride to the southern Taiwan city of Kaohsiung. We will take a taxi to our hotel and then, at 11:20 in the morning, Claire will finally be with us. We're full of more emotions than we could even begin to describe right now... certainly joy but also a little bit of fear if we're being honest. Tomorrow all four of our lives change forever.
I guess tomorrow we'll need to find a new name for the blog because in just over 14 hours, Our Journey to Claire will finally be over. What else is there to say?
We'll leave you for today with a few more pictures.
One side of the beautiful collage Nicole gave us today as a gift.
Do you think they would let us adopt more than one?
We had a great time playing ball with this handsome little guy.
Connor and Xi-Xi at Harmony Home
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Day 1.5 - Jet Lag and Why we Don't Know When We're Coming Home
Greg here...
It's 5:30 in the morning and Connor and Jessica are sound asleep. My eyes popped open somewhere around 4:00 and I tried to go back to sleep but it just wasn't happening so here I am, wide awake talking to you guys. I hope you don't mind.
The first time we visited Taiwan last year I figured jet lag would be no big deal... I've always been a person who could get by on just a few hours of sleep so I was confident that I could deal with it rather easily. Wrong. Jet lag is my daddy. I'm hopeful that it will be better this time but I guess the fact that I'm wide awake while everyone else sleeps isn't a good sign.
Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know when we hope to be home and also to let you know why we might not be on that flight. As of right now, we are scheduled to return to Knoxville at 10:45 AM on Sunday morning, February 14th. Unfortunately, one of our documents that we need to leave the country has not cleared the court system yet. We are praying hard that happens by no later than next Friday the 12th because if it does not come in, we will not be able to be home on the 14th as we originally had planned.
So you're probably thinking "okay, so if it doesn't come in on Friday the 12th, you can get it Monday the 15th and come home right after that." That's what we thought also but as luck would have it, the next week is Chinese New Year, the biggest holiday in Taiwan and the court systems are closed for a solid week. So, if our documents aren't in by the 12th, we would be here AT BEST for an additional 10 days and quite possibly another 14-17 days which would mean we would be in Taiwan for nearly a month.
We love it here in Taiwan, we really do. It is quite possibly my favorite place on earth other than Knoxville, Tennessee. Still, being here for a month is not something we really need to do right now. Connor needs to be in school, I have a job I need to get home to, and most importantly, I only brought 12 pairs of boxer briefs!
Of course there's a bright side... if we do end up having to stay we will get to enjoy the holiday season here in Taipei. I'm sure we will experience some amazing things, learn even more about this wonderful country, and having the extra time with Claire in her homeland would be special and something we would remember forever. Like I said before, we really do like it here and it will probably be a long time before we'll be able to come back. There would certainly be worse places to be stuck!
Unfortunately, an extra 2 weeks means an extra giant pile of cash we can't really afford. If we have to reschedule our flights there will be a $1000 fee and then on top of that we'll have another 2 weeks worth of hotel expenses. Taipei is a city the size of Chicago or New York and the hotels are more expensive than they are back home. Ten days we can afford... a month not so much. My wallet hurts just thinking about it!
So that's where we stand... a lot of uncertainty. If you're the praying type, please pray that our documents come in immediately. It could literally be anyday so why not today! Once that hurdle is cleared, we will most likely have smooth sailing and should be able to return home as scheduled on the 14th.
Whatever happens, we have a feeling of peace in our hearts knowing that the same God who knew Claire before she was born and then led our family on this amazing journey to find her also has a plan to bring us all back home together. In the grand scheme of things, if that is February 14th or 28th doesn't really matter all that much and we'll be alright either way. Still, pray for the 14th!
It's 5:30 in the morning and Connor and Jessica are sound asleep. My eyes popped open somewhere around 4:00 and I tried to go back to sleep but it just wasn't happening so here I am, wide awake talking to you guys. I hope you don't mind.
The first time we visited Taiwan last year I figured jet lag would be no big deal... I've always been a person who could get by on just a few hours of sleep so I was confident that I could deal with it rather easily. Wrong. Jet lag is my daddy. I'm hopeful that it will be better this time but I guess the fact that I'm wide awake while everyone else sleeps isn't a good sign.
Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know when we hope to be home and also to let you know why we might not be on that flight. As of right now, we are scheduled to return to Knoxville at 10:45 AM on Sunday morning, February 14th. Unfortunately, one of our documents that we need to leave the country has not cleared the court system yet. We are praying hard that happens by no later than next Friday the 12th because if it does not come in, we will not be able to be home on the 14th as we originally had planned.
So you're probably thinking "okay, so if it doesn't come in on Friday the 12th, you can get it Monday the 15th and come home right after that." That's what we thought also but as luck would have it, the next week is Chinese New Year, the biggest holiday in Taiwan and the court systems are closed for a solid week. So, if our documents aren't in by the 12th, we would be here AT BEST for an additional 10 days and quite possibly another 14-17 days which would mean we would be in Taiwan for nearly a month.
We love it here in Taiwan, we really do. It is quite possibly my favorite place on earth other than Knoxville, Tennessee. Still, being here for a month is not something we really need to do right now. Connor needs to be in school, I have a job I need to get home to, and most importantly, I only brought 12 pairs of boxer briefs!
Of course there's a bright side... if we do end up having to stay we will get to enjoy the holiday season here in Taipei. I'm sure we will experience some amazing things, learn even more about this wonderful country, and having the extra time with Claire in her homeland would be special and something we would remember forever. Like I said before, we really do like it here and it will probably be a long time before we'll be able to come back. There would certainly be worse places to be stuck!
Unfortunately, an extra 2 weeks means an extra giant pile of cash we can't really afford. If we have to reschedule our flights there will be a $1000 fee and then on top of that we'll have another 2 weeks worth of hotel expenses. Taipei is a city the size of Chicago or New York and the hotels are more expensive than they are back home. Ten days we can afford... a month not so much. My wallet hurts just thinking about it!
So that's where we stand... a lot of uncertainty. If you're the praying type, please pray that our documents come in immediately. It could literally be anyday so why not today! Once that hurdle is cleared, we will most likely have smooth sailing and should be able to return home as scheduled on the 14th.
Whatever happens, we have a feeling of peace in our hearts knowing that the same God who knew Claire before she was born and then led our family on this amazing journey to find her also has a plan to bring us all back home together. In the grand scheme of things, if that is February 14th or 28th doesn't really matter all that much and we'll be alright either way. Still, pray for the 14th!
DAY 1 - We are in Taiwan!
There's nothing much to report at this point other than that we are here in Taipei. We left Knoxville at 7:10 Wednesday morning and now 28 hours later, here we are. I'm not gonna lie... it's as long as it sounds!
The good news is that our trip was exactly what we had prayed for... uneventful. All of our flights were on time, our luggage arrived in one piece, and best of all our son Connor was WONDERFUL! He didn't say "Are we there yet" even one time! He slept a good bit of the way and the rest of the time he played his DS (thanks Nana and Grandaddy for the new games) and watched movies. Even on our longest flight (14 hours from Detroit to Tokyo) he was great. That was a major answered prayer!
Connor made a friend at the Tokyo airport while we were waiting to board our flight. Connor was just chatting away with a little Taiwanese boy and we just assumed that the boy didn't speak English but it turned out he did. He and his mom were from Ohio coming home to visit family. I'm not sure what they were talking about but as we left Connor said to him "What are you talking about man, you can't be allergic to movies!" I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation!
We're off to bed... it's almost midnight right now and we are getting up bright and early to visit the Harmony Home orphanage where Claire lived for the first 18 months of her life. We're very excited to get the chance to see this place and to meet her caretakers there. We have exchanged several emails with Claire's primary caregiver while she was at the orphanage and it is obvious that she loves Claire very much. She has been incredibly helpful sharing details about Claire's story up until now. We're thrilled to have the chance to meet her.
We haven't even taken our cameras out of the case at this point but starting tomorrow, we'll hope to have pictures and video fairly regularly for you all to enjoy.
Goodnight from Taiwan!
The good news is that our trip was exactly what we had prayed for... uneventful. All of our flights were on time, our luggage arrived in one piece, and best of all our son Connor was WONDERFUL! He didn't say "Are we there yet" even one time! He slept a good bit of the way and the rest of the time he played his DS (thanks Nana and Grandaddy for the new games) and watched movies. Even on our longest flight (14 hours from Detroit to Tokyo) he was great. That was a major answered prayer!
Connor made a friend at the Tokyo airport while we were waiting to board our flight. Connor was just chatting away with a little Taiwanese boy and we just assumed that the boy didn't speak English but it turned out he did. He and his mom were from Ohio coming home to visit family. I'm not sure what they were talking about but as we left Connor said to him "What are you talking about man, you can't be allergic to movies!" I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation!
We're off to bed... it's almost midnight right now and we are getting up bright and early to visit the Harmony Home orphanage where Claire lived for the first 18 months of her life. We're very excited to get the chance to see this place and to meet her caretakers there. We have exchanged several emails with Claire's primary caregiver while she was at the orphanage and it is obvious that she loves Claire very much. She has been incredibly helpful sharing details about Claire's story up until now. We're thrilled to have the chance to meet her.
We haven't even taken our cameras out of the case at this point but starting tomorrow, we'll hope to have pictures and video fairly regularly for you all to enjoy.
Goodnight from Taiwan!
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